"The Haves" and the "Have Nots"

 

“The Haves and the Have Nots”

By Jim Culp

December 29, 2022

 

There is a great distance between people in our country. There are arguments every day on twenty or more television channels, and many more than that in government buildings, lunch time at jobs, and a hundred other places…even house of worship.

This country is headed for a very long struggle, and there is a great need for responsible leadership in our government, military, cities and townships. The time is coming when there will either be successful and responsible government in our times, or we will implode on our own weight.

This morning, I read an article about NASA’s new telescope that cost the taxpayers 10.8 billion dollars. Apparently, we need to find a planet that has life on it, and then devise a plan to go there in the near future. Well, isn’t that nice. But here is my take on that. We haven’t even put a base on our moon yet. Sure, the space station is floating around the world, but that’s already old technology.

Maybe I am an old, disgruntled soldier… but I fail to see the need for finding planets in distant places where we have absolutely no technology that is going to get someone there for fifty or sixty years. It is folly, and a massive pipedream to go with it.

As for that 10.8 billion, here’s a few suggestions for our gubberment:

·       Let’s repair/replace all the failing bridges

·       Let’s repair all the roads full of potholes and failing concrete

·       Let’s build homes for the homeless, and they help

·       Demolish old houses and buildings; they are homes for thugs

·       Let’s worry about Texas before we worry about Mars

·       Let’s quit sending people to prison for smoking weed

·       Let us, as a people, make Congress impose new term limits

Anytime we, as our country’s taxpayers, see money being channeled to utter bullshit, need to speak up. I could care less what party you belong to, or what church you go to…we are all the Citizens of the USA! It’s time to TRULY make our country great again.

There is literally NO reason for a U.S. citizen to go without the basic needs of food, shelter, and health care. I can’t stress enough that we need to turn our money and talents back into our country.

Being the last blog entry for 2022, I want to thank all my readers and all your constructive comments. They mean the world to be, and I’ll be here to rant and rave in 2023.

Cheers,

-JimC

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"Sane and Insane"

 

“Sane and Insane”

By Jim Culp

December 23, 2022

 

After our worthless government, my greatest peeve of 2022 was people and their treatment of animals. I understand people walking their dogs, taking them to the pet park, and many other activities people do with their pets. But here and now, I want to address dogs and their owners. Many people treat their dogs as good as their children, and in some cases, better.

I won’t go down that drainage pipe because I am due for a long winter nap.

Here in the big city, I see people leaving dogs outside all night long. Now, there is a season of the year that this is ok, provided the animals have food and water, and something to get under if it rains. Acceptable, but pay in mind; if you don’t have a high fence, remember that the pit fighters need bait, and lot of it. This is all considering that two things are not done, and they are easy. Chaining a dog is ok for a very short period of time…say thirty minutes…Hubby is trimming the verges, and Mom is inside mopping all the floors. No one needs a dog in the middle of either, so cool. If it’s really hot, at least chain them in the shade with a large bowel of clean water.

What is not acceptable at all is chaining a dog in the yard and leaving it there because the stake is set in concrete. So lazy Pete watches six hours of porn and heads to the bedroom to sleep. Meanwhile, Rover is either freezing his tail off (sometimes literally) or panting so hard from heat that he starts having heart palpitations (yes, dogs can have heart attacks too).

Either season, either way…unacceptable to me. If you are not going to treat a dog like a pet, give him away to someone that wants one, or put an ad in the paper. Just make sure that the buyer is not a dogfighter…and yes, you can purchase a plan for websites that run people’s ID and many other items.

Most people out here in Lee’s Summit are good to their pets. I see it every day. But go about eight miles into Kansas City proper and you’ll see every atrocity against pets that you can imagine. Dogs outside on nights that it is 20⁰F. Unacceptable. Their dogs (or any pet) should be removed and seized, and the owners fined big bucks. Repeat the offense? Prison time.

Last point… I understand livestock because they (cows and such) are just not for the house. But when it is cold, they need to get out of the direct wind at least. Straw is a high helper, especially of you have turkeys or chickens.

Be kind to your animals, whatever you are. I used to have several reptiles, but they require a lot of care. I found them good homes and didn’t charge the new owners. Fish are great, but again; need a ton of TLC.

Whatever you do, don’t leave Mutley out in the cold, it ain’t cool.

My best to all this holiday season,

-JimC

 

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"Back and Forward"

 

“Back and Forward”

By Jim Culp

December 20, 2022

 

I don’t celebrate Christmas, and I haven’t since 2004 when I converted to Modern Paganism. We pagans celebrate the Season of Yule this time of year. Yule is the symbolic “death” of the year…the trees have lost their leaves, the air is cold, and most humans are less active at this time. The New Year is right around the corner, and we’ll go from there. Many people here in the Mid-West are Christians (at least thirty versions of such) and attend various rituals and things that pertain to the life and death of a Savior, one that would bring them peace and prosperity. I do not care what a person believes, so long as he/she doesn’t want to cram it down my air tube. Every man and woman on this planet have some say on his/her fate, and every one of us dances to either their own tune, or to someone else’s. I say, “you do you,” and “I’ll do me.”

 I live in western Missouri, and we are about to have a bout of weather that we haven’t seen in years of later. The West is already experiencing heavy snows and deadly cold temperatures as a write this. My brothers in Idaho are better weathermen than the ones on TV, so if I really want to know something, I give them a call.

This year is winding down to a close soon; and we’ll head into a new year with plenty of doubt and fear. The Earth is one the verge of World War III, and we will see what happens the next 2-3 days.

Whatever decisions are made, they had better not be taken lightly. I wish you all a merry holiday season, and may we all have peace in our hearts, and joy with what we have.

As for the aforementioned… I say this. Love with all your heart…be kind to one another and appreciate your blessings that you are alive and well. This may well be the last Holiday Season that we experience in peacetime.

-JimC

 

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"Get Lost"

 

“Get Lost”

By Jim Culp

12/15/2022

Another year is about to pass, and I say good riddance. This year has been filled with extreme doubt, government bullshit, and way too much focus on demigods instead of reality.

There are two things that need our highly focused attention to, and those (in my opinion) are (A) the war in Ukraine, where the Russians lose ground and hundreds of soldiers dies every day needlessly. Vladmir Putin ordered this travesty a year ago, and it’s been downhill every day. This guy needs a hobby and a farm that are about a thousand miles from civilization. Maybe he and Donald Trump could live in a little villa where they can play chess and chase goats hoping for a date. Whatever they do, they won’t be located anywhere the big red button is, and there’s no Generals to take another order for mass mobilization.

(B) The mass exodus of Mexican people entering the USA illegally. These people yearn for a better way of life, and I can’t blame them for that. But folks, you got to do it legally. Having ten, twenty, or fifty thousand people entering our country is a big no-no in my book. I have nothing against the Mexican people, but it is their country that needs to tend to them, not the USA. Everyone I know says that if Trump were still in power, the wall would be built, and no one would be getting in. Well, we never needed a wall in the first place. We needed A) a line of demarcation, and B) Guard towers with excellent snipers that stand ready for violators. You’d be amazed at the amount of people that change their minds when the person in front of them suddenly has no head. Hate speech? Nope. Reality speech.

Last caveat. This December, I am very sick of two things. A) Tom Brady and B) Christmas trees. Let me explain...Tom Brady is a damn good football player, but he’s not worth all the bullshit that he tries to install every day, and his fit-throwing on the field anytime anyone makes a mistake. Get over yourself man.

Lastly, Christmas trees. No, I don’t mind people purchasing Christmas trees and placing them in their homes for the holiday. I mind very much the assholes that cut down beautiful, oxygen producing clean air to breathe, and help keep soil intact as they grow. Buy a synthetic tree, and use it for ten, twenty, or even fifty years. Nothing gets killed, and we preserve critical forests that are the backbone of ecosystems.

I don’t ask for much.

Merry Christmas, and to my pagan brothers and sisters, Blessed Yule to you and yours.

-JimC

 

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"Of Songs and Diatribe"

 

“Of Songs and Diatribe”

By Jim Culp

December 11, 2022

 

Way back in 1981, I wrote a song that would sit in a box for many years. Years later, I read all my song lyrics that night, and decided to put four of them on an album. As luck would have it, I worked at a company called ACS, and many times that work took me to Tacoma, Washington. Amid that large stretch of cities lied the massive bases of Fort Lewis (Army) and Fort McChord (Air Force). I worked exclusively with Range Control on Fort Lewis building their MOUT* sites. My team and I installed seven of these sites, and then were tasked much later on to repaint many of them.

During this time, I met a great guy named Mike Morrison. Mike was a hard worker, and a killer guitar player. So, I asked him to play guitar on my coming CD. The record had four songs but let me focus on one of them for the purposes of this article. The first song on the CD was called “the Devil’s Blues…” which I had written in 1981 with my trust Harmony guitar that I had received for Christmas the past year. “The Devil’s Blues” was a parody about people blaming their problems and life’s negative occurrences on an imaginary figure. This figure (or entity if you like) was “the Devil,” or “Satan,” the father of lies and deceit. This character was in many religions (most notably in Christianity and Islam) but in some other also.

Anyway, the album was painstakingly recorded and produced, and place on three music outlets: You Tube, iTunes, and word of mouth. I gave it as a gift to a large number of people and sent a copy to everyone in my immediate family; but that’s another subject you can read about in my autobiography, due to publish in summer of 2023.

Time went by, and this record had been on those two channels for eleven years. Great…right?

I get a notice from YouTube last night, and it said they were removing it from that channel, because “it might imply violence.”

Holy Shit on a Ritz cracker. I am now complete… because I’ll heard it all now.

(* MOUT means “Military Operations in Urban Terrain)

 

-JimC

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Lies, and more lies III

 

Lies, and More Lies III

By Jim Culp

December 6, 2022

 

Well, it seems that Big Don’s hypocrisy and lies only go so far…but far enough to make me understand that he is a brilliant money maker, world traveler, and bullshit artist all rolled into one fat taco.

Let’s start with today’s news. It seems that Big Don’s hypocrisy and lies know no bounds. I love the movie where Val Kilmer played a famous gambler and gunfighter and used those very words on his death bed.

Ex-President Trump is a con artist. Well, there’s a million of those out there; but none of them are the former President of these here United States.

Today the headlines read something car less than the last two days where this stupid asshole talked about screwing with the Constitution. First, I heartly laughed at this gesture on Big Don’s part; but soon after became deeply concerned that this idiot is serious about it.

Now, today…this moron is being thumped again because he “forgot” to include $19.8 Million dollars on his taxes while he was the POTUS. Whoops! A little mistake on the Trumpster’s track record. Can I tell you why he got caught? Carelessness…plain and simple. The asshole thinks that he is above the law, and in many cases, he is probably right. A friend at the library saw me writing this and started a short political debate with me.

“Yeah man…but Joe Biden is a bleeding-heart liberal that is way worse than Trump.”

“I know, and that is the problem. We have to choose the lesser of two shitheads every single time we cast votes for POTUS.”

“But Biden is a career politician,” he said in disgust.

“You’re right Charlie, I continued…” but that’s just as bad. Those idiots need to be voting for the right way, not the parties wet dreams.”

We laughed it off. We’re both old veterans that have seen more corruption in the military and civilian life, it’s too much to take in. So, I headed home and continued this paper.

What do you think would happen to you if you “forgot” $19.8 “thousand” on your tax return? I know…you’d pay it back in a reasonable amount of time, or you’d soon be acquainted with Bubba the gorilla wiener.

But none of these politicians are going to jail or prison; they have so much on each other that no one is going to throw the big book at them. Yeah, they set in forums and act like they give a fuck, but they don’t.

Last thing, and I am done for the day. I don’t care about political parties; I care about the people of the United States of America, and my brother veterans that died for the cause of freedom.

It is now not a reason of who is a Democrat or a Republican; it is a choice of a man or woman with conviction, knowledge of the job he is doing, and acting in the interest of the people of the USA.

 

-JimC

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Round Two

 

“Round Two”

By Jim Culp

November 22, 2022

 

Well, it seems that I am a punk magnet. It has been a while since I was attacked by punks, and I was glad to be past that. Last night, I talked to several friends that I try to keep in touch with…and then settled into watch a movie and relax. Nothing would be further than the truth. At about 10:30, I realized that I had left my wallet in my car. No matter how anyone else feels, I can’t stand to let that slide. It’s just too easy for some asshole to steal it and go on a bar binge before you can say howdy doody has wooden balls.

So out I went, down to the old parking lot. It was as quiet as a church on Monday, and I proceeded towards my car. A visual reconnaissance told me that no one was about, or so I thought. I pressed my FOB button and the car beeped back at me in response.

I opened the passenger door and retrieved my wallet, and then heard a sound. It was footsteps, and fairly heavy ones. I turned my head, and something struck my forehead. It was a 24-inch piece of half inch rebar, and the tip of it was jagged. I was lucky that it was a glancing blow, or I would have been in a bad way quick.

“Not this shit again…what am I? A faggot magnet?”

Luckily, the fat punk had stepped back a bit (obviously to observe the damage done) and that gave me about 10 seconds to get my hand on my .45 that stays in my car. I drew it and thumbed the safety off. Homeboy suddenly realized that he had brought a stick of steel to a gunfight.

“Oh shit!” he yelled…and ran away.

“Punk mother fucker…” I thought.

Blood dripped from my forehead, so I locked the car and staggered up the stairs.

Life is good…just stay armed if you live in the city.

-Jim

 

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Veterans Day III

“Veterans Day III”

November 11, 2022

By Jim Culp

 

Veterans Day coincides with other holidays including Armistice Day and Remembrance Day which are celebrated in other countries that mark the anniversary of the end of World War I. Major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 when the Armistice with Germany went into effect. At the urging of major US veteran organizations, Armistice Day was renamed Veterans Day in 1954,

In my family, we have veterans that participated in every major conflict that has occurred since 1918. The reason I don’t mention wars before that is because there are no known records of us before then. The following is a list of persons in our family (including persons married to a member of the Culp family or associated with such.)

World War I: William “Birdie” Bristow

World War II: Bill Bristow, Bill Lesperance, Jack Bristow, George Bristow, Amon Harrison

Korean Conflict: Amon Harrison

Vietnam War: Phillip “Flip” Hill, Amon Harrison

Gulf War (code named Operation Desert Storm): Mart Jeffery Culp, James Culp

Operation Iraqi Freedom 1: James Culp

These people contributed their best to these conflicts and returned home to tell their tales; many did not. The latter is why we have Memorial Day.

To my brothers and sisters in arms, I salute you for your service. Our country is stronger and safer because of you.

Cheers,

Jim Culp

SFC, Retired

 

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The Right...and the Wrong

 

“The Right…and the Wrong”

By Jim Culp

November 6, 2022

 

Ballot Measure 114 is the most extreme Gun Control Measure ever put forth. The issue here is simple. This isn’t “gun control,” it is the continuing effort of people in the US Government to destroy the Second Amendment, a Constitutional Right.

An eligible initiative measure is one in which the required number of signatures have been submitted to and verified by the county elections officials.

In the United States, a ballot measure is a law, issue, or question that appears on a statewide or local ballot for voters of the jurisdiction to decide.

The problem here is, the last thing we need in the USA is to strip anyone of their rights. In a country where we have the most crooked bunch of shit-heads since Tricky Dickey; we need action by the citizenry.

I will address this is my own special way, and there will be two…me as a citizen, and me as a veteran.

As a citizen, taking away by right to defend my hearth and home with firearms (that were purchased legally) when someone tries to rob, kill, do any harm to me or mine in any way, is my Constitutional Right as a citizen of the USA. The opposite of me is the trash that runs around our cities and towns today, and I draw your attention to Kansas City. These thugs are A) “people” that are life-long criminals, B) obtained their firearms illegally, and B) modified said weapons to fire in automatic mode (which is also a felony).

Let’s look at some statistics. Kansas City (as a whole) had the following numbers for these three years:

2020: 182

2021: 155

2022: 220

Regionally: 269

This is simply because the system is broken. There are people trying to fix it, but it’s an extreme uphill battle.

As a veteran, I have higher insight than the average drunk. There are countries that I have visited where there is very low crime, and the police are not tough on the citizenry, because there is somewhat of a symbiosis in that perspective.

Then, there are countries like England and Germany, and there is crime…   but it is almost never with guns. That is because it is illegal to own firearms unless these are secured in a place where their sporting ranges and the like exist. When I was in Germany, the Wall was still there, and Germany was divided per the rules in place since World War II. There is a different Germany there now, but the gun rules remain the same for both areas. As for crime, German police are very tough and stomp it out (brutally if necessary).

I have also been to countries where there is practically no law enforced, except for religious laws, which are brutally squashed within hours or day.

Every time I went anywhere (17 countries in my career) I tried to learn the laws and unspoken rules in each. This, of course, was governed by the amount I had to do this. There are some that are in a common group with others, and some that have laws that were unique to that country (like Saudi Arabia).

All that said, none of those countries had a constitution with some of the unique amendments like the USA. The ruthless idea that restricting or confiscating law abiding citizen’s legally purchased firearms and ammunition is another assault on the Second Amendment, the amendment that guarantees our freedom of gun ownership.

Destroy the 2^nd Amendment? This country will collapse on itself with a brutal civil war.

Most Sincerely,

Jim Culp

US Army, Retired

 

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New and Old

 

“Very new…and very old”

By Jim Culp

October 28, 2022

 

In 2000, my military career changed abruptly to another component of the U.S. Army. I was discharged from the Kansas National Guard and joined the U.S. Army Reserve. I was able to discharge early because my move was “in the interest of and favorable to the good of the U.S. Army.” My contract ended in less that two days and I headed to MEPS* for my physical and all that silly crap. Civilian bosses were not happy about it, but I didn’t care. It was a $14 dollar raise on the civilian side, and I would soon be in charge of a Movement Control Detachment. I stopped by the National Guard and said goodbye to my old tank… I would miss her…Not. That bucket of bolts put fifty health years on my body in seven calendar years. I finished school for that MOS** and reported back to my unit.

“Welcome, SSG*** Culp,” said the Commander, “Report to Captain Weaver for your first assignment, and as soon as you get back, you’ll be in charge of the 378^th HRT*!

I went and reported to Captain Darrel Weaver, a guy that I would live to become great friends with. Darrel was a black dude from Chicago, and not in the nicest part. He was one of the most intelligible people I ever met. We shook hands and he said “We’re headed to Italy, Sarge; and I want to watch over the kids, so I don’t have to…capiche? (Do you understand?)

“Roger Sir, when are we headed out?”

“Friday morning, 0300.”

Upon arriving in Italy, we were picked up by a Specialist in a 15-passenger van. It was easy to spread out because we only had six people. Some folks in that unit did several missions per year. We drove through the cities and finally ended up at Vicenza, a village style town that had been there since the Second Century AD. It had survived an earthquake (1349) and the German bombings of World War II (1942-1945).

My Captain, a buddy Jim Warner, and I were all history buffs, and for the next 11 days we would see over half of Italy. The only work they wanted us to do was fill out surveys of the mess hall’s meals. This wasn’t a problem; their “mess hall” was like an Italian Bistro, but better. Every meal had a huge salad bar, and the breads were bought on the local market.

I could tell you more, but I don’t have the bandwidth to do all of that today.

A day later, I asked the Sergeant Major what he wanted us to do. He replied that he wanted me to go to Aviano Airbase and give a report of the Team Training that was going there (the Army had a detachment there).

We all loaded up and headed there. This base is huge… and has a plethora of aircraft and armaments. We located the Army Detachment there, and I went out and graded their Team Training. They were doing chemical warfare drills, and I gave them a talk afterwards. So… I did about 25 minutes of work that day. When we left there, we went to the Coliseum, but the crews were working on a structural failure, and said “sorry, two weeks.”

We headed back to Vicenza and visited a grape farmer. He and his cousin were in the wine business, and had done so since 560 AD. The wine was really awesome, and we bought some more bottle to take home and such. History was right in front of me here, and I wanted to stay for a year. We visited Venice for a whole day and enjoyed all the sites and shops. We had pizza there that you can’t match anywhere in the rest of the world. One thing you don’t want to do in Venice is to fall in the water. If you’re an American, the Department of State orders you to stay four weeks for vaccinations.

All in all, it was a great trip. The grand finale was when the airline screwed out tickets up. So, three of us had to ride First Class. Oh, the horror! We could eat or drink anything we wanted, and the flight attendants all looked like porn stars.

A final caveat. Very strange but true. On April 10^th of 2004, I was in Iraq, and we were mortared for seven hours. The only fatality on our side was Antoine Holt, from Aviano Airbase.

I am going back to see that Coliseum up close and personal. I will be hoping they screw up my airline tickets again.

{{I am including a small glossary with this blog; some of my readers have told me that they have no clue what “this” and “that” are. My apologies; when you are a soldier as long as I was, you think everyone knows that stuff.}}

*: MEPS: Military Entrance Processing Station

**: MOS: Military Occupational Specialty

***: SSG: Staff Sergeant (the second rank in the Army’s Non-            Commissioned Officer ranks

 

-Jim

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The Beast

 

“The Beast”

By Jim Culp

October 25, 2022

 

When I was a kid around the age of 11 or 12, my parents sent me and my older brother Dave to a Christian School across town.  

As part of our studies, we had to memorize chapters from the King James version of the Holy Bible. When it came my term, my teacher told me to “pick one myself.”

Well, that came easy for me. The Old Testament (the first tome of the bible, and the recordings of many men and women that allegedly wrote down the words of God… but through men and women) was really boring. It was filled with all kinds of stuff, but nothing that attracted a young Jamie Culp.

So, I opted to memorize Revelation 13: 1-18. It was cool, and had some exciting stuff rather than boring tales of gardens, guys with leprosy, and a God that brought swift judgement on any wary soul that crossed his commandments.

So I sat in my little cubicle, and starting memorizing.

 

 

1.And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy.

 

2And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority.

 

3And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; and his deadly wound was healed: and all the world wondered after the beast.

 

There are 15 more verses, but they all point to a “beast” that would do some serious damage (as ordered by Satan; God’s enemy)

The guy that was writing all this down was allegedly the last of the disciples of Jesus the Christ. He was called John of Patmos, because the isle he had been exiled to was called Patmos. The Emperor Domitian had made that call because John was making trouble for the Empire. Much later on, John was called “Saint John the Divine.”

Anyhow, John saw things that would happen in the distant future, and he wrote all of them down. You can read about them yourself; the Book of Revelation is that last book of the Holt Bible. If you can’t afford one, get online and visit https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/...

No internet? Visit a library to rent one or a Mormon church; they will give you one for free.

 

Fast Forward to 1977. This school was part of a church, and most of them were. My parents sent us there because I guess they figured that attending church three times a week was not enough. So, every morning, we’d board a bus at our church, and it would take us to the other one where the school was.

On one particular day, Mrs. Berg stopped at my cubicle, and asked how my memorization assignment was coming.

“Pretty good, Ma’am.”

“And what does this chapter tell you about the subject?” she inquired.

“Um…we’re all screwed?”

“She laid her hand on my head and softly said in my ear. “Um, that is vulgar, and you’re getting a swat for that.”

Let me digress a bit. A “swat” at that school meant being smacked in the rump with a six-foot boat oar. Yeah, that’ll teach me.

So off I trudged to the principal’s office, and received my punishment, then a language lesson.

“James, the word “screwed” in the context you used it means F-U-…you know the rest.

“It does?!” I exclaimed.

“Yes sir!” he replied.

Well, the rest of that year went ok. We moved to Silver City to the same kind of church school, just smaller.

In due time, the Beast would come to me in my dreams. It horrified me and made me be a good boy for a few days. The senseless diatribe of established and fanatical religion had taken control of another kid. The Beast would stay with me until 2003, when I removed religion form my mind, and buried myself in other subjects. Life would be much better now. That year I only had to fight one war, not two. My mental palate no longer had that monkey on my back. Believe me, I needed my whole brain and mental fortitude to do my job and get all my boys home.

To LTC John Killigan: Thank you for your guidance, Sir. I am proud to call you brother.

-Jim

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"Out of Time?"

 

“Out of Time?”

By Jim Culp

August 21, 2022

 

So, I lost my coping saw. (if’n ye don’t know what that is, just google it)

I went to the hardware store her in Lees Summit, and walked in. There was a kid greeting people.

“I am looking for a coping saw,” I said.

To my surprise, he pointed to an aisle, and said “Isle 46, Sir, section 3.”

I said thanks and headed that way. When I arrived, there they were.

To self: “Did I just fall in a time portal and go back to 1973?”

So… I grabbed the saw I want, and a pack of blades. Being the guy I am, I decided to play a game.

I walked up to the nearest kid in uniform, and asked where I could find 1” X 1” X 2” white pine boards.

He told me to walk with him, and he took me right to the rack in the lumber area. “Right here, Sir, and you can get them in Oak or Maple also.”

I was dumb-founded… “Um, thanks man,” I said as he walked away.

I literally thought something was wrong, or I had been in the wrong dimension for the past 56 years.

“Ok, Jim. Last one…make it a good one.”

I walked to the area where all the steel hardware was. I picked up a bolt that had a steel washer on it, but nothing else, and stood there looking like I was clueless.

A guy in his {thirties?} walked up and asked me if he could be any help.

“Yeah man,” I said… “I am looking for a nylon washer with no more than an .078” in diameter, and a stainless nut to fit the bolt…but damnit if I haven’t left my readers at home again.”

The guy chuckled. “You sound like me friend…but anyhoo; they are right here, and I’ll get ‘em out for you.”

As sure as Mama made the greatest pies at Christmas, I had exactly what I needed in about 8.2 seconds.

“Will that be all, Sir?” he asked with a smile.

“Yep, that’s it. Thanks for your time and knowledge.”

When I got out to my car and shut the door, I looked around to make sure I didn’t see any ’71 Impalas or Beetles driving by, or that any of the men were wearing suits and ties. I just couldn’t be in 2022.

-Jim

 

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"Yum"

 

“Yum”

By Jim Culp

August 7, 2022

 

I’ve been a customer of Arby’s for 40 years. Yesterday, I ordered a wrap instead of the beef sandwich I usually get…in order to give my guts a break. The wrap has a delicious tortilla, turkey, cheese, tomatoes, and lettuce. (I have them take the mustard off, because it is some commie shit that tastes like stale ale. I also have them removed the purple onions, because they do not agree with me).

They were busy, and I patiently waited (really…I did). Ok, I used the time to play space invaders on my phone.

So, the wrap came out. I took the first bite. It tasted like a rubbing alcohol and spray starch cocktail. I opened the wrap to inspect, and there was lettuce that looked exactly like the canned spinach that Pop used to eat. I opened the other half, and the “lettuce” looked like a sailor had used it to scrub the deck of the USS Gerald Ford, then snuck it into the galley and placed it in the “sammich stuff” tub.

When I complained, the manager said that she was sorry. So I looked back at the guy making sandwiches. He was not only not washing the lettuce, he was putting that nasty outer leaf (that only goats eat) on the sandwiches.

Letter on the way to corporate.

-Jim

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"Back When...And Then"

 

July 22, 2022

“Back When…And Then”

By Jim Culp

 

DO you remember when fast food was really good food?

When I was a kid…KFC was awesome, and Pizza Hut was REALLY awesome. You didn’t order a Supreme and not have cheese all the way to the crust, and there was a large handful of every topping you ordered…not 2-3 pieces scattered out on a 14” piece of dough. Sauce was so good that you wouldn’t spill a drop. The salad bar had good crisp lettuce and great toppings. Teenagers wanted jobs in all these places, because then they had money that was theirs.

 KFC chicken was so good, you finished every piece down to the bone. You didn’t need so much sauce in those days because the food was so good.

Then came Long John Silvers. Golden fried pieces of cod, and real chicken in the tenders. Great hushpuppies, and absolutely incomparable coleslaw.

You could get two hamburgers at McDonalds for 99 cents, and they tasted good. McDonalds french fries were a cardboard pouch of delicious treats.

When our family moved to Silver City NM in 1978, we discovered Blakes Lota burger and Sonic Drive in. The hamburgers at both these places were mind blowing. You wanted to literally eat every meal at one of these places.

There were diners, hotel diners, and nice restaurants, but we kids didn’t even care to go to any of them because the fast-food places had great food. Sure, we liked the steak house and the hotel diner that had all you can eat shrimp, but we didn’t care about them places…again…because fast food was good.

Time went by…corporations wanted more and more money…and they got it. The little hamburgers at McDonalds became 79 cents each. The french fries that were once 59 cents were not $1.75.

Wages for fast food workers declined, and quality became something that had to be inside a person to implement (taught at home) and not a standard. Kids started demanding everything that working adults had, and weak parents gave in to them. Rich kids at school became the most popular, and clubs formed. You only got invited to Bobby’s house (when his parents were out of town) if you had something to give, or money to spend. The same fast-food restaurants that starred in the ‘70s were losing sales faster than they could hold on. You started seeing more senior citizens fill the role previously held my teenagers. Kmart and TG&Y had primarily 50–60-year-old employees.

By 1987, our little town had rapidly declined to a few stores, and teenagers were coming back to work; but didn’t have anywhere near the desire to please their customer that I wish to rent an apartment at the Vatican. Those great tasting fast food meals were replaced with very expensive meals to pay employees more money. You would think that the employees improved and made these places thousands of dollars. The absolute opposite occurred… the businesses failed because a large part of their work force demanded more and more until the management personnel said “enough.”

When I visited my “second hometown” of Silver City, NM (I was born in El Paso, TX) in 1992, it was falling into a miniature depression. The only restaurants WERE fast food, the meals were disgusting to say the least. Prices at stores were phenomenal, and unemployment was at deplorable levels.

When I went there in 2017 to complete my degree, it was a ghost of what it had been when I was a teenager. Meth had taken its toll, and very few of the people I knew there were around anymore. The only fast-food places left were McDonald’s, Sonic, and Taco Bell…and they were all in deplorable locations and had the lowest quality standards that I had witnessed thus far in my lifetime. I was at least happy to find Mom and Pop Mexican restaurants that had opened, and they were doing huge business because of local happy customers. I spent many hours in my dorm room contemplating the rise and fall of a geographical era, and the slow start to re-surge that was happening.

-Jim 

 

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"Metamorphosis"

 

“Metamorphosis”

By Jim Culp

June 6, 2022

 

 

When I began listening to Rock and Roll music, it was on rare and scarce occasions. I didn’t have anything to play cassettes on, and only had three. These had been passed down to me and my brother by our older brother Jeff, who was now off in some foreign land with the USMC. I had “Hobo’s Lullaby” by Arlo Guthrie; “Greatest Hits” by Jim Croce; and “the Best of Waylon Jennings” on cassette. I plugged them into anything that played them whenever I could to hear all those wonderful songs that these artists produced.

 

It was 1978. My immediate family (Mom, Step-Dad, brother Dave, and myself) moved to Silver City, New Mexico in the fall of that year. Silver City was a melting pot of many brands of people. There were still tons of hippies there, and many people aspiring to be music artists.

I was 12. For the next two years, my brother and I were exploring the areas around our home, meeting new people, and adjusting to our new life. We went to school at our church… and became part of a scholastic endeavor called Accelerated Christian Education.

I guess going to church Sunday and Monday night, as well as Wednesday night wasn’t enough to ensure that we turn out “good people.” At age 14, Mom decided that we would go to public school, and that meant my brother Dave going to his junior year of high school, and my going to 8^th grade at the Junior High.

We’d both meet new friends, new enemies, and learn a ton of new stuff…good and bad.

In 1981, Journey released their record “Escape.” It would shatter previous records, give Journey thousands more fans, and propel the band into the big time. Somewhere along the line, I acquired a small cassette player and headphones. This (and many other things in the next two years) would bring about many changes to my life. I had joined the chess club; and played chess every morning before classes started to get ready for the regional tournament. My brother Kevin Martin was also there, and he and I were good friends. Two months later, we were headed to the regional tournament in Deming, New Mexico. I listened to both sides of “Escape” for the 60 miles there, and the 60 miles back.

My brother Kevin beat me out of the championship, but we took 1^st and 2^nd place in the region.

“Escape” was a record of incredible songs like “Don’t Start Believin,” “Who’s Cry’in Now,” and “Open Arms.” Journey packed massive stadiums and shattered records for at least three years after the release. This was back when the line-up of Journey consisted of the most incredible talent a band could possess…including Steve Perry on vocals, Neal Schon on lead guitar, Jonathan Cain on keyboards, Ross Valory on bass, and finally Steve Smith on drums.

I remain an ardent fan of Journey today, even though they have a different set to guys on the microphones. Hey, that is what happens over a period of 49 years.

Rock on Journey…you are forever in our hearts.

 

-Jim

 

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