April 24, 2021
“Fear”
By Jim Culp
In the summer of 1990, I attended a school at Fort
Leonard Wood, Missouri. It was hotter than the lower planes of hell, and we
arrived to find that not only were the barracks not air conditioned; neither
were the classrooms and mess-hall. Most days were over 100˚F, and the humidity
was around 70%. We were there for six weeks, and attended classes every day and
various outdoor activities like the physical fitness test, land navigation, and
trying not to die.
This school (in my day) was called BNCOC (Basic
Non-Commissioned Officer’s Course), and you typically attend it at Grade E-5,
which is Sergeant. There were guys there from my unit, and also some guys that
I had been stationed with at other Army units previously. We were allowed to do
as we pleased at night, and that usually included drinking and watching
strippers dance.
At some point in the class, we wrote papers on any
subject that we chose. They were graded by a professor instructor from Central
Texas College. I wrote mine on Darth Vader. I wrote about how the Darth would
handle any issue that came his way, and 98% of the time; his leaders and
soldiers did what he said to do in great haste. If a leader or soldier was in
that 2 percentile, woe was his fate.
"Darth" (means “Lord” or “Leader”) was feared and
respected, but mostly feared…hence his 98% efficiency rate. He always dressed
well, and made sure one of his imbeciles shined his boots and helmet to a
mirror image. He rarely yelled, because he didn’t need to.
Once, at a leader’s conference, his boss was there.
The boss said that “fear would keep the local systems in line, fear of this
battle station.” The boss spoke of the Death Star, a massive rig that moved
about space blowing up planets that had not behaved like the Emperor (the BIG
BOSS) wanted. When one of the leaders scoffed at this, the Darth walked over to
him, and summoned the force. This made the leader choke, and gain some fucking
respect. See how that works?
I received a 97 on my paper. At the bottom, there
was this note.
“Dear Sergeant Culp: I loved your paper, and really
enjoyed reading it. I gave you a 98% because your indention on line 54 was not
needed. Lastly; about your topic; bravo! I grade hundreds of these papers every
week, and get sick of Army slogans and tedious military jargon. Thanks for the
break.”
I headed home that summer feeling like a million
bucks. Now that I look back, I think about that paper, and all the guys I went
to that course with. I think about the heat and humidity, and the way it would
prepare me for the coming war, which was just six months later. I would know
fear all too well then.
-Jim
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