"Entitled"

 

“Entitled”

By Jim Culp

November 4, 2021

 

We’re coming to the end of another year. Soon there will be snow, impassable streets, and hundreds of accidents. In Nature, the trees are changing colors; the sky is frequently gray, and all the animals that don’t have fur are disappearing for the rest of the year, and well into the next. The holidays will soon be upon us, and once again thousands of people will spend billions of dollars on gifts for their spouses, their children, and those that are fortunate enough…their grandchildren.

The stores will be crowded with hundreds of people combing the shelves for this and that, and breaking out the iPad to buy online.

Yesterday, I was in the Walmart here in Lee’s Summit. It’s a place that is always crowded to the gills, because everything around it has outrageous prices. I was in the frozen section, and this kid wanted some blueberry toaster waffles. Innocent enough... Then his mother told him it wasn’t happening because the last time she bought them for him, he didn’t eat them. He started screaming “child abuse” and “this is so unfair.” Well, about a minute later Mom tossed them back in the basket, and little anti-christ declared “see, I won!”

Mom turned around and took the box out of the cart, and placed the waffles back in the freezer.

That was the tie that broke little Satan’s defenses. He jumped out of the cart, and started things off the shelves, and yelling “I’ll show this bitch what a bad kid is!”

Mom quickly ran and grabbed the young lucifarian and wrapped him up like a burrito in her arms. He proceeded to head-butt her in the chin twice, and she maintained her bearing; and kept telling him to calm down. Two Walmart employees showed up, and were clueless what to do. One of them asked Mom if she wanted the police to come intervene. She shook her head “yes.” 20 minutes later, the prince of darkness junior was in a police car being schooled by the young officer.

I left there thinking about my family, my siblings’ children, and all the times we swapped stories of stuff our kids had done in yesteryear. When I told this story to my therapist, he was taken aback, and stated that he’d never let his kid pull that kind of stuff. He asked me what I thought.

“I don’t know Doc, when you have been the places I have been, and see little girls with no shirt or shoes when it was 36 degrees, it kinda hard for me to have any sympathy for kids in North America. They get smart phones for Christmas when they aren’t old enough to know a dollar from a donut, and have everything under the sun. They get cars for their 16^th birthday, and don’t work for anything. I think it is a disease that is going to make our country go down the toilet.”

“Entitlement,” he said.

“Yes Sir, I believe so.”

 

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The Times they are a Changin'

 

October 11, 2021

“The Times they are a Changin’”

By Jim Culp

 

A grammatically correct sentence? A warning? Neither…it was a song written, played, and sung by my favorite poet, Bob Dylan. When Mr. Zimmerman wrote these lyrics in 1965, the USA was a very different place than it is today. JFK was gone, and LBJ took his place as POTUS. Malcom X was murdered, and the funeral of Winston Churchill drew a crowd of over 300,000 people. Vietnam was in its latter stages, but still cranking out dead US servicemen by the minute.  Bob Dylan wrote songs that came from his heart, and songs that many parents (including mine) would just as soon never let their children hear. That were songs that questioned the establishment, pissed off the preachers, and talked about poverty and homelessness. Other songs a sang a different tune, and that tune was about having someone to talk to. You know, someone who not only cares, but has at least some mileage on the track of life that you were on at some point. A friend like that is a rare gift indeed, and life only deals you so many of them, like aces in poker.

In these troubled times, we face so many obstacles. COVID, a government with cranial rectitis; half a billion people that could care less about their fellow human beings, the planet that they live on, or the air that we breathe. On my fifth day of COVID, there was a phone call from one of my oldest brothers. It was a welcome ring. The brother I speak about goes back with me all the way to my early days in the Republic of Korea (May of 1985). We talked the better part of two hours. This is a precious commodity that some people know nothing about, and some that probably never will. Someone that has experiences with you (or similar to you) for 36 years is something that can never be replaced. When they tell you that their knees hurt, or their fingers aren’t working, you know right away want they mean, because you pulled the same pin, lifted the same bridge, or fired the same gun. My day went so much better after that. Life goes on.

Bob was so right. The Times they are a changing’, and I ain’t so sure for the better. Hold on to the things that are precious to you. You know, like Smeagol and the Ring... just kidding. Friends, brothers, and family are eternal. Don’t pass up a day to let them know you care. Tomorrow is never promised.

Cheers-

-Jim

 

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"Come on In"

 

August 26, 2021

“Come on In!”

By Jim Culp

 

So yesterday I watched a portion of a documentary that is being recorded and documented in McAllen, Texas. Texas is my home state, but I was born in El Paso, which is 785 miles from McAllen. That should give you the sheer size of that state; it’s the second largest state in the USA right after Alaska. This guy (un-named for his protection) is filming the processing of persons coming from Mexico to the USA. When they started filming it, the film crew stated that they were under the massive bridge that crosses the Rio Grande River. He witnesses groups of Mexican personnel being processed for entry into the USA. The problem though…is two things (in my opinion). If a group has ONE child in it, they all go through, and are given a paper ticket that says “appear in court this day, this city…etc.”

The guy noted something really crazy though…he said he looked at some of the papers, and most of them cite a date that is THREE YEARS in the future. “Are you shitting me?” I said as I heard it. Do you really think that people are going to do that? Let me digress a bit.

I have no problem with people trying to improve their lives, especially people that are impoverished. A human being has every right to try and make things better for himself and his family. Women damn sure have the right to improve themselves even when they are not being used for concubines, being raped, or being outright slaves. Children have the right to happiness, education, and care. I don’t blame a single Mexican from trying to get into the USA, but our government needs to shit or get off the pot. If you’re going to let them in, you better get a plan in place for processing them. It will be the same when United States cities start receiving all the Afghanis. The trouble is... they aren’t even taking care of OUR citizens, much less anyone else.

Call your Congressman or Senator…tell them what you think. If they don’t respond, call them out.

-Jim

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"A Bad Deal...All Around"

 

August 19, 2021

“A Bad Deal…All Around”

By Jim Culp

 

Let me tell you how far you can get in a combat zone like areas in Afghanistan or Iraq without an interpreter. Sure, you can go all Stormtrooper and just kill everybody, but then you’re gonna play hell making it out. Interpreters act in many roles, but I can tell you…my interpreter in Iraq was invaluable to me. In fact, I had two. The one had at the meeting hall was a very young guy called Buddy (because no one could pronounce his proper name) that spoke nearly fluent English, he was fluent in Modern Arabic and Kurdish. He did interpretations for me daily and only asked for a can of Pringles in payment.

My other guy was a commercial contractor. Mr. Nohman was from a northern province of Baghdad, and had a lovely wife and three children. He wasn’t a terrorist or a thug; he was a good man trying to make money for his family. Nohman would get me everything from blankets to plywood, flash drives, and tools, nails… whatever.

When I watch the current crap going on in Afghanistan, I think about Nohman and how I would feel if he were to be left there after being such an asset to me for seven months. I would feel like a thug myself thinking of his children being rounded up to be slaves, or his inability to feed his family because the supermarkets had been closed to the public unless they complied with the thug’s wishes.

Every time I hear some stupid redneck says things like “screw them towel-heads, they started it!” or some other asinine bullshit. It makes my skin crawl. Educate yourself. Talk to veterans that have been through this kind of crap. It’s the same thing that happened in Saigon in 1975. A country collapses because the invading force had poor leadership and made really bad calls in the latter years. And no, it’s not just Biden.

 

Jim Culp

Veteran of OIF 1

February 2003 to May 2004

Tigris River Valley, Iraq

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Solve the Problems: Part 1

 

8/8/2021

Solve the Problems- Part I

By Jim Culp

 

So, we are now looking for new Olympic sports. I’ve had had an idea for one for 30 years, but had little response. Here ye go. State by state, you grab up every person in prison that has been there for 10 years or more. Take them far out in the desert, and set up full cameras, video, and whatever else you want.

10 prisoners against 10 prisoners at a time, 1 hour limit.

They may choose a weapon* and a shield, or two weapons. The last man with a workable appendage is set free. Now, depending on your amount of inmates, this can take months or years. So be it. We’d get rid of millions of rat fuck dogshit criminals mos tickety tick. The events would employ thousands of security guards, mobile kitchens, and low skill nurses to give the survivors band aids and a canteen of water for their journey.

*: Any hand held weapon that does not issue a projectile except spears.

I will now take Questions from the Public:

Q: How will you make sure that these people don’t escape during the process? 

Easy, they are not only completely chained, they are drugged and go nighty-night for the trip.

Q: This is inhumane! They deserve better than this.

A: Well shit, I guess you’re going to have to pull up your panties and live with it. Also, if the prisoner elects, they can opt out, and be used for live bayonet training at any military base.

Q: How much will this cost?

A: Depends on the State, but probably about a hundred grand per day. But after you deduct the money that is being used on prisoner Jack the Rapist ($81,000 per year) that these events will have as a budget, it’ll work itself out.

Q: This is barbaric! Jesus would not approve of such idiocy!

A: Maybe not, but Jesus ain’t running the country. Our country is a Republic, not a religious theocracy.

 Q: These people will die horrible deaths and their families will sue!

A: One bit of the banana at a time, sister. One, horrible deaths? You mean like the Manson murders? The Hillside Strangler? Dahmer? Give me a goddamn break. So families will sue. We’ll handle that in due time.

Q: Ok, Jim…down and dirty. How much will this cost?

A: Well, let’s look at a few states. How about New Mexico where I grew   up? In that state (as of 2015) one prisoner costs the people $7,167 a year. Mind you, that doesn’t account for a prisoner that needs a special cell, or is in lockdown, or needs daily medical care. But even in that state, it costed $263,935,441 a year. But that’s nothing compared to New York, where the average expenditure of an inmate per year was $53,181. Ready for the big tamale? That year, New York (all by itself) spent $3,688,976,999 on housing inmates. Just for comparison’s sake, let’s see how many F150 Ford Pickups (brand new) with that money. After employing my unbeatable 3^rd grade math, you could purchase $125,946 of them.  

Q: I can’t believe a person would even think about such barbarism.

A: Well, shit fire. To quote my hero Clint Eastwood…”Well, they can all come stay at your place then… can’t they?”

          -Jim

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June 14, 2021

“Grief Begets Ignorance”

By Jim Culp

 

To the lady that lost your child in the Sandy Hook shooting; I am very sorry for your loss. I can’t say that I know how you feel, or “yeah, I’ve been there,” or any other reply that would ease your pain. A bunch of folks died that day, including other children that were ages like 6 and 7. What a tragedy. It was nine years ago, but I am sure that doesn’t matter when it comes to your grief. But the area that I am deeply concerned about is this; you want the U.S. Government to pass a law that prohibits any citizen of the United States from owning a semi-automatic firearm. You want most to prohibit us from owning a semi-automatic series of rifles like the kid at Sandy Hook employed. These are semi-autos like the XM-15 Bushmaster carbines that look like military M-16’s. Yes Ma’am; I know them well. I’ve owned four of them over the last 30 years, and used them recreationally many times over. I taught my daughter how to load, shoot, and perform basic actions to clean, disassemble, perform function and malfunction actions, and what direction not to point the muzzle. I carried a government version of one of these in two wars, and employed them for my survival three times in the second one.

I said all of that to say this. I’ve never shot anyone that didn’t need some killin’, and I never wanted to ban weapon ownership from anyone that was sane, trained, and old enough to distinguish a fart from a chainsaw. The kid that shot your child (and many others) came from a broken home, and the events that led to the shooting were all in plain sight for plenty of people to see; they just didn’t do anything. Taking away law abiding citizen’s weapons (anything from steak knives to Bushmasters) does absolutely nothing to keep the public safe. Do you really think the cops could handle armies of thugs that would rule the streets if the public did not own firearms? If so, visit places where handguns are illegal. Let me know what you find. Again, sorry about the kid; it sucks. But try to take my guns? Ain’t going to work sugar.

-Jim

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June 5, 2021

“Literally”

By Jim Culp

I was fishing this morning, and a man in his sixties came down to the water, and sat down. He didn’t have any gear, so I wondered if he was a bird watcher or something. Pretty soon we were commenting on the crazy weather we have had, and I kept comparing it to what the weather today and yesterday were like {PERFECT}.

After a while, he confided in me that he was a non-denominational minister, and liked to go out and speak with people about his faith, and ask about theirs.

After a while, I told him that I was from a religious family, and that for all of my childhood (and up to age 37) I was a Baptist. In those days, we were called “Fundamental Baptists” so that we were recognized separate from other Baptists. I told him of the problems that I had with religion in my childhood, and how I struggled with it as an adult. He then asked me what religion I observed now.

I replied that I don’t practice one at all. I consider myself Pagan, but I barely practice that. He said he was sorry, and that he sometimes struggled with religion as well. We talk on and on, and finally I asked him if he would take my genealogy exam. He said “Sure…what not?”

I carry around three or four index cards with me everywhere I go, because I could debate religion with the Pope. So I showed him my card (please see photo). He said “Ohhhh, the old Genesis debate!”

I said “yeah. What happened after that? Before you answer, I know the bible. I know that it says there were men and women after that, but who did who to make more people?”

He said emphatically that he did not know the answer. I told him about one Baptist preachers who told me that “incest wasn’t wrong in those days.”

“Really?” the guy asked.

“Yeah, really.”

Then he said what all the others said for all of my life. “Well, you just can’t take the Bible literally all the time.”

-Jim  

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May 7, 2021

“Safe Conduct”

By Jim Culp

 

What a nice day. It’s about 70 degrees, but a little windy for me. No problem; did some writing this morning, then headed out to look at more fishing places. On the way, I stopped at Sonic, and got some grub. Then my daughter and I had a long text talk, and I was back on track to the areas I wanted to RECON today.

I parked my car, and started to get out. Just then, a rock hit my passenger door. It scared the shit out of me, because there were no other cars there. I looked around, didn’t see anyone; and got out to see whether USAA insurance would be getting a call or not.

I got out, and had my camera in hand. I started looking at the marks on the car, and then I heard steps in gravel from the lakeside. I turned around, and about 10 feet  away was Barry Von Tweaker; getting closer. Camera stayed in left hand; right hand drew pistol. Pistol levels at tweakie’s solid brown teeth. He stops.

Me: “did you do this?”

Tweak: “Nah dude; I just need some food money.”

Me: “How about a bullet instead?”

It was then, and only then; that this idiot realized I was holding a gun.

Me: “Get lost, tweakee.”

Tweak: “I’m on it man.”

He walks to the brush, and disappeared.

Luckily, the “rock” was more mud than rock. No significant damage.

I was relieved. I haven’t killed anyone in 18 years, and I don’t ever want to have to do it again. Live goes on in Missura!

Have a nice day.

-Jim

 

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April 28^th, 2021

“Snow”

By Jim Culp

 

This morning I was watching some news, and the weather guy said that we can rest assure that the Midwest is pretty well out of range for any more snow-storms.

I started thinking (don’t know why) about my Mom and how she loved the snow we would get in Silver City. Then I started thinking about Uncle Albert, who lived in Coeur D Alene for a major part of his life. In the last ten of them, he never owned an automobile. He had a snow-mobile for winter; and a horse for summer.

He visited us in Silver City one year, and told us many stories about the brutal winters in his area of Northern Idaho. He lived semi-remote, because that was how he liked it.

Coeur D Alene, Idaho receives an average snowfall of 69.8 inches of snow each year. That’s an incredible amount of snow. When I worked Kansas DOT in the nineties, our area received 17.2 inches per year. There were times when we plowed 12 on / 12 off for 4-5 days. I can’t imagine receiving almost seventy inches of snow in a winter… hell; you may as well sleep at the shop.  

Memories of the winters I have been through are plenty cold and wet, but I only had a few here and there where it was really bad, especially at Fort Riley.

Just my thoughts on paper today…

Thanks for reading!

-Jim

 

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"Fear"

 

April 24, 2021

“Fear”

By Jim Culp

In the summer of 1990, I attended a school at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. It was hotter than the lower planes of hell, and we arrived to find that not only were the barracks not air conditioned; neither were the classrooms and mess-hall. Most days were over 100˚F, and the humidity was around 70%. We were there for six weeks, and attended classes every day and various outdoor activities like the physical fitness test, land navigation, and trying not to die.

This school (in my day) was called BNCOC (Basic Non-Commissioned Officer’s Course), and you typically attend it at Grade E-5, which is Sergeant. There were guys there from my unit, and also some guys that I had been stationed with at other Army units previously. We were allowed to do as we pleased at night, and that usually included drinking and watching strippers dance.

At some point in the class, we wrote papers on any subject that we chose. They were graded by a professor instructor from Central Texas College. I wrote mine on Darth Vader. I wrote about how the Darth would handle any issue that came his way, and 98% of the time; his leaders and soldiers did what he said to do in great haste. If a leader or soldier was in that 2 percentile, woe was his fate.

"Darth" (means “Lord” or “Leader”) was feared and respected, but mostly feared…hence his 98% efficiency rate. He always dressed well, and made sure one of his imbeciles shined his boots and helmet to a mirror image. He rarely yelled, because he didn’t need to.

Once, at a leader’s conference, his boss was there. The boss said that “fear would keep the local systems in line, fear of this battle station.” The boss spoke of the Death Star, a massive rig that moved about space blowing up planets that had not behaved like the Emperor (the BIG BOSS) wanted. When one of the leaders scoffed at this, the Darth walked over to him, and summoned the force. This made the leader choke, and gain some fucking respect. See how that works?

I received a 97 on my paper. At the bottom, there was this note.

“Dear Sergeant Culp: I loved your paper, and really enjoyed reading it. I gave you a 98% because your indention on line 54 was not needed. Lastly; about your topic; bravo! I grade hundreds of these papers every week, and get sick of Army slogans and tedious military jargon. Thanks for the break.”

I headed home that summer feeling like a million bucks. Now that I look back, I think about that paper, and all the guys I went to that course with. I think about the heat and humidity, and the way it would prepare me for the coming war, which was just six months later. I would know fear all too well then.

-Jim

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April 23, 2021

“Education and Solution”

By Jim Culp

 

Let me try this one more time.

EDUCATION

The definition of an assault rifle is thus:

“A military rifle capable of both automatic and semi-automatic fire, utilizing an intermediate-power cartridge.”

Point A: “Military,” you read that part, right?

Point B: “Automatic fire,” you read that part, right?

It’s illegal to own an automatic firearm in the United States of America. It has been since the Gun Control Act of 1968.

You can obtain a license (a type 07 Federal Firearms License) and build any firearm you want, even a machine gun. But you can’t sell it to anyone, except a FFL holder of a higher license.

Owning an assault rifle is illegal in the entire United States of America. An AR-15 is not an assault rifle, and neither is an SKS, a semiautomatic shotgun, or a MAC 10 replica. None can fire in fully automatic mode unless modified, at which point you are a felon.

So…who owns automatic rifles? A. People with expensive and highly scrutinized licenses. (I know, I had one for six years) B. CRIMINALS. One more time…CRIMINALS.

But the problem here in the good old USA is that we aren’t tough enough on criminals, and going to prison is a habit for them.

SOLUTION:

One offense (non-lethal)? Prison, working prison. Act up while you’re there? Execution by hanging, in public.

Second Offense (non-lethal)? You pick up trash and live in a tent for the rest of your life.

Act up while you’re there? You are executed by hanging, in public.

Lethal offense (whether you pulled the trigger or not) you are executed by hanging, in public.

Your rights? You lost them when you were found guilty of the crime, and you are executed within 10 days of being sentenced.

Is this barbaric? Yep; sure is. And that’s right where we need to get back to with criminals.

-Jim

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February 8, 2021

Sunday Game Review

By Jim Culp

 

I am not a Chiefs fan. In fact, I don’t even watch more than about ten NFL games a year. The whole thing is just cliché to me most of the time. It can also get monotonous when teams just seem to do that same old shit every year. Then they cry and moan because they don’t get into the playoffs.

I am a lifelong Steelers fan, and have been since about 1973. Back in those days (I know, ancient history) the game of professional football was rougher, less refereed, and there was way less technology. We watched games on black and white TV; and it wasn’t on 2, 4, 9, or 13, you weren’t gonna watch it unless you went to a rich kid’s house. Up to now, the Steelers are one of the few that have six Super-bowl wins, and I still like to watch them. However, they are a shadow of what they were twenty years ago.

Fast forward to now; the Chiefs have had a big re-start with new people. A kid like Patrick Mahomes (25 years old) taking a team to a Super-bowl his first year was unheard of, but he and the Chiefs did it in 2020. 

When last night’s game started, we watched for about half a quarter, and I said “they are going to have to play better than this, or they are gonna lose big time.”

Well, I am no Nostradamus, but here we are. The Chiefs lost big (36 – 9), and NFL “experts” had predicted that they would win 25 – 9. It was a crushing defeat, and here’s why according to me.

The Chiefs went into this with big heads. They didn’t have a strategy to contain Brady, and they sure as hell didn’t have the means to control Gronkowski. When the Buccaneers started scoring (as Tom Brady always does) the Chiefs’ defenders started playing “grab the hands” and “trip him up.”

This led to the Chiefs receiving 11 penalties that costed them 120 yards of the game. Some of those were at very critical times. Why am I so adamant about this? Because it’s the same thing the Steelers did when they had a big head and started losing. History doth repeat itself…not every time…but often.

Brady is a veteran football player, and a proven winner. He’s paid $25 million a year because of it. Do you like him? Maybe not…but you damn sure better respect his ability to win games. It’s like being a tanker in the desert and going up against Erwin Rommel. You might hate the bastard, but if you don’t respect his abilities… your tank is going to be a smoking pile of scrap before you can sing Glory Hallelujah.

Till next time,

-Jim

 

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February 5, 2021

“Crazy”

By Jim Culp

 

I listened to the Speaker of House’s speech yesterday; and to the President’s this morning. I fully agree with both that things need to happen quicker than they are. The economy is struggling because of COVID, and people need to get that second check to pay for whatever they need. My problem today was that the President openly admitted that large sums of money (out of the first package) went to people who are in the 10% wealthiest tax bracket. He’s the fourth President of the United States that has openly said this. SO WHY THE FUCK IS IT STILL HAPPENING? Is everyone ok with it? What the actual fuck, over? Check your Six. What are we doing?

Time to reinvent the system!! Bring back the gold and silver standard. Abolish the Federal Reserve System. Fire every politician that has been in public office (of any kind) for EIGHT YEARS. Create a vetting board of 12 or 20 low and middle income that get to question an incoming Senator or Representative before he can take office. 2/3rds of that board have to approve his acceptance.

Do you think this is crazy? Well, they used to call me Crazy Culp for a reason.

But compare it to what is happening today under our very noses?

-Jim

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Decline

 

February 1, 2021

“Society”

By Jim Culp

 

Do you ever wonder what has become of our country? Well, first…we put sports and glamour out in front. You know…ahead of good education, teaching children values, and making sure that elderly are properly cared for, especially in their later years. Religion became a real popular thing, and everyone flocked to join churches. No, not for salvation…for prestige and social standing. Most major cities have hundreds of churches, and they all operate 100% tax free.

I will use Kansas City, Missouri as a model. Kansas City, Missouri has a population of roughly 500,000 people. Do you know how many churches it has? At current count…508. Five Hundred and Eight Churches. That’s just on the Missouri side. Do you know how many of them have elderly care programs? 13 of them. Thirteen out of Five Hundred and Eight.

If you combine the churches in the Kansas City, Missouri and Kansas City, KS, the datum just gets that much closer to the brink of insanity.

There are roughly 205, 500 people living in the Kansas City Metro area, a combination of pieces of both states. Guess how many churches?

Here ye go…744. How many of these have elderly support programs? 23 of them. Twenty-three out of Seven Hundred and Forty-Four.

Sports and shootings in Kansas City take up over 35% of daily evening news programs, and critical problems in Elderly Homes take up about 2% of a week. Homeless issues take up about 4% of weekly TV, and the amount of unemployment takes up way less than that.

Do you every stop and consider that our society is moving in reverse? Do you ever stop and ask yourself “What the fuck are we doing?”

Don’t tell me what Jesus said. When you start acting like Jesus did, and doing what Jesus did; you can start the Jesus diatribe with me.

We, as a society, are in decline. We don’t give a fuck about anyone but ourselves, and it shows every day you go out in public.

-Jim

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