“Bob”
By Jim Culp
May 31, 2022
This post reminded me of when
I worked for the government. The place was a maintenance and storage facility
for the Army Reserve. This was 1999. The going operating system was Windows 98
making its way to 2000. At home, I loved Windows 95 and didn’t want to let it
go. I stuck with it until my current machine gave up the ghost in 2001.
Back at the job, there was guy
that ran the computer operations for the facility. He was 186 years old at the
time I was working there (1999 to 2006). Bob knew everything, and he had worked
with computers since the Abacus was invented in 2300 BC. Bob said he was there,
but I doubt that. Bob still loved his 5.25 discs and insisted that everything
be backed up on them. He also still used 4-tracks for audio; he had every song
from several artists that recorded hits in Mesopotamia sometime before Jesus. Bob
had a small room in the rear of the supply area that looked like Iron Man’s
design shop. It had four computers, three printers, two CRT televisions
converted into monitors, and a refrigerator. He loved to talk electronics, and
my partner and I used to ask him if he helped design the Death Star. He’d answer
“yep” without skipping a beat while typing at 15 trillion words per minute. We’d
do that at least once a week just to get a laugh.
Bob finally retired in 2003
while I was in Iraq. He was mandated to retire, which pissed him off to no end.
In the government’s defense, Bob was older than Methuselah…according to
biblical records. Bob’s position was replaced with two lovely ladies, both
dumber than a bag of hammers, but with lovely, shaped forms. Imagine that.
-Jim
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