"Out of Time?"

 

“Out of Time?”

By Jim Culp

August 21, 2022

 

So, I lost my coping saw. (if’n ye don’t know what that is, just google it)

I went to the hardware store her in Lees Summit, and walked in. There was a kid greeting people.

“I am looking for a coping saw,” I said.

To my surprise, he pointed to an aisle, and said “Isle 46, Sir, section 3.”

I said thanks and headed that way. When I arrived, there they were.

To self: “Did I just fall in a time portal and go back to 1973?”

So… I grabbed the saw I want, and a pack of blades. Being the guy I am, I decided to play a game.

I walked up to the nearest kid in uniform, and asked where I could find 1” X 1” X 2” white pine boards.

He told me to walk with him, and he took me right to the rack in the lumber area. “Right here, Sir, and you can get them in Oak or Maple also.”

I was dumb-founded… “Um, thanks man,” I said as he walked away.

I literally thought something was wrong, or I had been in the wrong dimension for the past 56 years.

“Ok, Jim. Last one…make it a good one.”

I walked to the area where all the steel hardware was. I picked up a bolt that had a steel washer on it, but nothing else, and stood there looking like I was clueless.

A guy in his {thirties?} walked up and asked me if he could be any help.

“Yeah man,” I said… “I am looking for a nylon washer with no more than an .078” in diameter, and a stainless nut to fit the bolt…but damnit if I haven’t left my readers at home again.”

The guy chuckled. “You sound like me friend…but anyhoo; they are right here, and I’ll get ‘em out for you.”

As sure as Mama made the greatest pies at Christmas, I had exactly what I needed in about 8.2 seconds.

“Will that be all, Sir?” he asked with a smile.

“Yep, that’s it. Thanks for your time and knowledge.”

When I got out to my car and shut the door, I looked around to make sure I didn’t see any ’71 Impalas or Beetles driving by, or that any of the men were wearing suits and ties. I just couldn’t be in 2022.

-Jim

 

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"Yum"

 

“Yum”

By Jim Culp

August 7, 2022

 

I’ve been a customer of Arby’s for 40 years. Yesterday, I ordered a wrap instead of the beef sandwich I usually get…in order to give my guts a break. The wrap has a delicious tortilla, turkey, cheese, tomatoes, and lettuce. (I have them take the mustard off, because it is some commie shit that tastes like stale ale. I also have them removed the purple onions, because they do not agree with me).

They were busy, and I patiently waited (really…I did). Ok, I used the time to play space invaders on my phone.

So, the wrap came out. I took the first bite. It tasted like a rubbing alcohol and spray starch cocktail. I opened the wrap to inspect, and there was lettuce that looked exactly like the canned spinach that Pop used to eat. I opened the other half, and the “lettuce” looked like a sailor had used it to scrub the deck of the USS Gerald Ford, then snuck it into the galley and placed it in the “sammich stuff” tub.

When I complained, the manager said that she was sorry. So I looked back at the guy making sandwiches. He was not only not washing the lettuce, he was putting that nasty outer leaf (that only goats eat) on the sandwiches.

Letter on the way to corporate.

-Jim

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"Back When...And Then"

 

July 22, 2022

“Back When…And Then”

By Jim Culp

 

DO you remember when fast food was really good food?

When I was a kid…KFC was awesome, and Pizza Hut was REALLY awesome. You didn’t order a Supreme and not have cheese all the way to the crust, and there was a large handful of every topping you ordered…not 2-3 pieces scattered out on a 14” piece of dough. Sauce was so good that you wouldn’t spill a drop. The salad bar had good crisp lettuce and great toppings. Teenagers wanted jobs in all these places, because then they had money that was theirs.

 KFC chicken was so good, you finished every piece down to the bone. You didn’t need so much sauce in those days because the food was so good.

Then came Long John Silvers. Golden fried pieces of cod, and real chicken in the tenders. Great hushpuppies, and absolutely incomparable coleslaw.

You could get two hamburgers at McDonalds for 99 cents, and they tasted good. McDonalds french fries were a cardboard pouch of delicious treats.

When our family moved to Silver City NM in 1978, we discovered Blakes Lota burger and Sonic Drive in. The hamburgers at both these places were mind blowing. You wanted to literally eat every meal at one of these places.

There were diners, hotel diners, and nice restaurants, but we kids didn’t even care to go to any of them because the fast-food places had great food. Sure, we liked the steak house and the hotel diner that had all you can eat shrimp, but we didn’t care about them places…again…because fast food was good.

Time went by…corporations wanted more and more money…and they got it. The little hamburgers at McDonalds became 79 cents each. The french fries that were once 59 cents were not $1.75.

Wages for fast food workers declined, and quality became something that had to be inside a person to implement (taught at home) and not a standard. Kids started demanding everything that working adults had, and weak parents gave in to them. Rich kids at school became the most popular, and clubs formed. You only got invited to Bobby’s house (when his parents were out of town) if you had something to give, or money to spend. The same fast-food restaurants that starred in the ‘70s were losing sales faster than they could hold on. You started seeing more senior citizens fill the role previously held my teenagers. Kmart and TG&Y had primarily 50–60-year-old employees.

By 1987, our little town had rapidly declined to a few stores, and teenagers were coming back to work; but didn’t have anywhere near the desire to please their customer that I wish to rent an apartment at the Vatican. Those great tasting fast food meals were replaced with very expensive meals to pay employees more money. You would think that the employees improved and made these places thousands of dollars. The absolute opposite occurred… the businesses failed because a large part of their work force demanded more and more until the management personnel said “enough.”

When I visited my “second hometown” of Silver City, NM (I was born in El Paso, TX) in 1992, it was falling into a miniature depression. The only restaurants WERE fast food, the meals were disgusting to say the least. Prices at stores were phenomenal, and unemployment was at deplorable levels.

When I went there in 2017 to complete my degree, it was a ghost of what it had been when I was a teenager. Meth had taken its toll, and very few of the people I knew there were around anymore. The only fast-food places left were McDonald’s, Sonic, and Taco Bell…and they were all in deplorable locations and had the lowest quality standards that I had witnessed thus far in my lifetime. I was at least happy to find Mom and Pop Mexican restaurants that had opened, and they were doing huge business because of local happy customers. I spent many hours in my dorm room contemplating the rise and fall of a geographical era, and the slow start to re-surge that was happening.

-Jim 

 

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"Metamorphosis"

 

“Metamorphosis”

By Jim Culp

June 6, 2022

 

 

When I began listening to Rock and Roll music, it was on rare and scarce occasions. I didn’t have anything to play cassettes on, and only had three. These had been passed down to me and my brother by our older brother Jeff, who was now off in some foreign land with the USMC. I had “Hobo’s Lullaby” by Arlo Guthrie; “Greatest Hits” by Jim Croce; and “the Best of Waylon Jennings” on cassette. I plugged them into anything that played them whenever I could to hear all those wonderful songs that these artists produced.

 

It was 1978. My immediate family (Mom, Step-Dad, brother Dave, and myself) moved to Silver City, New Mexico in the fall of that year. Silver City was a melting pot of many brands of people. There were still tons of hippies there, and many people aspiring to be music artists.

I was 12. For the next two years, my brother and I were exploring the areas around our home, meeting new people, and adjusting to our new life. We went to school at our church… and became part of a scholastic endeavor called Accelerated Christian Education.

I guess going to church Sunday and Monday night, as well as Wednesday night wasn’t enough to ensure that we turn out “good people.” At age 14, Mom decided that we would go to public school, and that meant my brother Dave going to his junior year of high school, and my going to 8^th grade at the Junior High.

We’d both meet new friends, new enemies, and learn a ton of new stuff…good and bad.

In 1981, Journey released their record “Escape.” It would shatter previous records, give Journey thousands more fans, and propel the band into the big time. Somewhere along the line, I acquired a small cassette player and headphones. This (and many other things in the next two years) would bring about many changes to my life. I had joined the chess club; and played chess every morning before classes started to get ready for the regional tournament. My brother Kevin Martin was also there, and he and I were good friends. Two months later, we were headed to the regional tournament in Deming, New Mexico. I listened to both sides of “Escape” for the 60 miles there, and the 60 miles back.

My brother Kevin beat me out of the championship, but we took 1^st and 2^nd place in the region.

“Escape” was a record of incredible songs like “Don’t Start Believin,” “Who’s Cry’in Now,” and “Open Arms.” Journey packed massive stadiums and shattered records for at least three years after the release. This was back when the line-up of Journey consisted of the most incredible talent a band could possess…including Steve Perry on vocals, Neal Schon on lead guitar, Jonathan Cain on keyboards, Ross Valory on bass, and finally Steve Smith on drums.

I remain an ardent fan of Journey today, even though they have a different set to guys on the microphones. Hey, that is what happens over a period of 49 years.

Rock on Journey…you are forever in our hearts.

 

-Jim

 

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"Bob"

 

“Bob”

By Jim Culp

May 31, 2022

 

This post reminded me of when I worked for the government. The place was a maintenance and storage facility for the Army Reserve. This was 1999. The going operating system was Windows 98 making its way to 2000. At home, I loved Windows 95 and didn’t want to let it go. I stuck with it until my current machine gave up the ghost in 2001.

Back at the job, there was guy that ran the computer operations for the facility. He was 186 years old at the time I was working there (1999 to 2006). Bob knew everything, and he had worked with computers since the Abacus was invented in 2300 BC. Bob said he was there, but I doubt that. Bob still loved his 5.25 discs and insisted that everything be backed up on them. He also still used 4-tracks for audio; he had every song from several artists that recorded hits in Mesopotamia sometime before Jesus. Bob had a small room in the rear of the supply area that looked like Iron Man’s design shop. It had four computers, three printers, two CRT televisions converted into monitors, and a refrigerator. He loved to talk electronics, and my partner and I used to ask him if he helped design the Death Star. He’d answer “yep” without skipping a beat while typing at 15 trillion words per minute. We’d do that at least once a week just to get a laugh.

Bob finally retired in 2003 while I was in Iraq. He was mandated to retire, which pissed him off to no end. In the government’s defense, Bob was older than Methuselah…according to biblical records. Bob’s position was replaced with two lovely ladies, both dumber than a bag of hammers, but with lovely, shaped forms. Imagine that.

-Jim

 

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"Memorial Day"

 

“Memorial Day”

May 27, 2022

By Jim Culp

 

Monday the 30^st of May will come very soon. It is a great day of celebrating the lives of great men, and the mourning of their deaths in service to the United States of America. Many people (despite our attempts to educate the ignorant) still think this day is Veteran’s Day. It’s not.

Veteran’s Day is a day to thank all service persons in uniform for their current service, past service, or in training to serve.

Memorial Day is a different animal. It is set aside each year for this purpose. Formerly called “Decoration Day,” it was changed in 1971 to officially be named Memorial Day. This holiday has several customs, such as placing tiny USA flags on gravestones. This is done in my “second hometown” of Silver City, New Mexico where a group performs this every year. A friend I grew up with in that town is a former Marine and is part of it. My mother and my stepfather (a World War II veteran) are buried there. This cemetery of part of the old Army hospital and base at Fort Bayard, NM. This hospital is famous for their part in caring for and curing hundreds of World War I soldiers that were attacked with chlorine gas. The dry air and abundant sunshine made them well again; they had endured months of war on cold and wet battle fields of then war-torn Europe.

Teach your children about the cost of freedom. Someday, they will need to know the difference.

RIP Mike J. Walmsley    Operation Desert Storm

RIP William J. Blake      Operation Iraqi Freedom I

Jim

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Another Shooting?

 

“Another Shooting?”

By Jim Culp

May 25, 2022

 

It’s a cool and rainy day here in Lee’s Summit. It’s been this way for the past few days, and man it gets old quick. It’s akin to the weather we used to get in early March. This morning, I read the news about the shooting in Uvalde, Texas. What a tragedy. This was a multi-target shooting by a kid in his teens named Salvador Ramos. Uvalde is over 78% Hispanic by demography, but that is common in the border areas in that region. Shootings in Texas are fairly common; there have been 27 incidents of shootings resulting in deaths since I was born in that state in 1966. What I would like to point out now is that there have probably been 2-300 shootings (resulting in deaths or not) during that time that simply were never recorded or followed up on.

This incident is tragic and horrible for the parents and relatives of the deceased. It’s also tragic that any person is full of this much rage that he does something this terrible. We could drone on about the mental side of this for days, but I am not qualified to make a call on any of that, so I’ll move on.

First, let’s look at a profile. When Ramos turned 18 sometime past, he purchased  two AR-15 style sporting rifles legally from a gun store. Ramos made the purchases using his grandmother’s address, and it is unknown if he resided with her or not.  It is unknown how much ammunition that he carried to the shooting, but I am of the belief that he had a full magazine in both weapons. The photo of the rifles show two 30 round magazines. Another source claims that Ramos had one rifle, and a handgun. This is unconfirmed. First, it is currently  believed that Ramos shot his grandmother before he headed to the school to perform the shootings. As of now, it is reported that she is on her way to a hospital in San Antonio. Ramos wounded two sheriff's deputies, but not fatally. It is believed now that he shot two sheriff’s deputies, but not fatally. It is believed that he shot 19 children fatally in the range of 2^nd grade to 4^th grade, and two teachers, also fatally. My heart goes out to these victims, their families, and everyone involved. This kind of carnage should never happen in a civilized society.

Now, let’s look at some things. This kid bought these rifles at a local retailer nine days ago, on his 18^th birthday using his Grandmother’s address. That should have sent up a red flag from the get go. At a minimum, the retailer should have made a few phone calls. The kid was bullied and assaulted at school several times, and ditched classes on various occasions. At a bare minimum, the retailer should have a limit on how many guns one person can buy in a day. I know…the Democrats reading this will say that he shouldn’t have been able to buy one until he was 92 with 18 letters from Senators and Governors; and the Republicans will say that he should be able to buy an Abrams tank with a full compliment of ammunition if he wants. This is what is wrong with out country right now…but I digress.

So the kids lays down his greenbacks for two AR-15 style sporting rifles, and buys (or has already obtained) magazines and ammunition for these, as well as a pistol; which is illegal. There are certain situations where persons under 21 years of age can purchase handguns, but they must do so through a legal process. I assume that Mr. Ramos obtained this gun from someone, or stole it.

Now, let’s talk about media hype concerning the riles. These rifles ARE NOT assault rifles. They are called sporting rifles for a reason. They are semi-automatic rifles that load and fire ONE SHOT per squeeze of the trigger. Can a trained person fire round in semi-automatic mode quickly? Yes, absolutely. But they are not assault rifles. Assault Rifles (like the M-16A1 that I used in Basic Training and my tour of Korea) are capable of firing in full automatic mode…or, you can select to fire one round at a time. The point here is, a modern assault rifle (although not a machine gun) can fire rounds at a target at a rate of 20 rounds per second. I am not saying that a sporting rifle doesn’t do damage. It’s a deadly weapon…but so is a black powder pistol, or a 30.30 Winchester Carbine, or a chef’s knife.

“Ignorance is bliss” is an old saying that I heard many times as a young Private in the Army. At the time, I was ignorant (as many 18 year olds are) and acted upon ignorance. But then I grew up. It took a minute, but I learned that there are some things called research, and computer searches, and libraries full of books and maps. Educate yourself. I fully agree that these shootings are horrible, and should not happen. I will NEVER, EVER…support the infringement of life and liberty on Law Abiding citizens because of IGNORANCE.

“A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment Two: The Bill of Rights

 

-Jim

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 [JC1]