November 15, 2020

“Throw Them Away”

By Jim Culp

 

So, I went out in the woods and prayed to my gods. Of course, as with all gods, there was no way to know if they heard me or not. So I came home…kind of disgruntled and less than whole.

I called my counselor, and she said “well, try what I do. Go out wherever you go again, but this time, take a refuse container along.”

“A what?” I said.

“A refuse container, you know; a sack or something that will burn.”

“Um, “I stuttered…like a paper sack from the grocery store?”

“Perfect,” she uttered. “Then get a couple of pieces of notebook paper or the like, and cut or tear them into 2” X 2” pieces. Then, take a permanent marker, and write down people or problems in your life that occupy your brain too much. They can be anything or anyone, because no one but you will ever know.”

“Got it…and then?” I asked.

“Place them in the bag, and throw a few kitchen matches in the bag with them. Then seal it up with a little tape...” she instructed.

“OK, I’ll call you back when I get that done,” thanks Mel.

I hung up with her, and wished I could walk and talk with her, as she had been the best counselor I ever had, particularly the year my Mom and brother died within months of one another.

So I took the little pieces of paper, and a Dollar Tree marker; and started with people. The first that came to mind were the Kardashians. Now, don’t get me wrong…those girls are beautiful, and I have nothing against them personally. What I hate to my core is how they are glorified. Them… and many like them; are worshipped because they are rich, and can spend seventy hours a week having hair and make-up done. I think we need better idols.

In the same vein, I wrote Kanye West on the next piece of paper, but with a forward slash and the acronym POS in capital letters. I was going to write “No talent ass clown with a mouth that never closes” but I didn’t care to expend the energy.

The third piece of paper was easy. I wrote “Mega-churches” and tossed it in. I didn’t write all the issues I had with them, just the two words. You can read my blogs on the evil that exists there.

Next was our current Fuhrer, Mr. Trump. I wrote out his name on the fourth piece, and that was enough. He gets too much audience in my head, and I need to make room for other things.

The fact that he has been voted out of office during a global pandemic (of which he has handled like a two year old eating a bar of ice cream on a July day) is very awesome indeed.

On the fifth piece were the names of the soldier that I lost during my time in the Army. There were three of them, and I’ve allowed them to maintain an area of occupancy in my head for too many years. I felt responsible for each and every one of them, and I wasn’t. Each of them was out of my control when they left his planet; but a true leader doesn’t see it that way sometimes.

The sixth piece was simply labeled “degree.” I finally made the decision to stop trying to attain my bachelor’s degree. It was a lifetime goal, and I’ve tried for the last twenty-five years to fit it into my life. It has never worked, and I’m done trying’.

The seventh and eighth pieces were labeled “HATE” and “FEAR.” They were going to combine on one, but I feel that they each needed a spotlight of their own. These two emotions have filled my brain and my soul for 40 years, and it’s time to let them go. Both will turn your soul into a cesspool if you don’t purge them out of your life.

Number nine came easy. It was labeled “stop procrastinating,” and that covers everything in life for me. Do it, or don’t. I am still not the chief procrastinator (that title belongs to my second wife), but I don’t want to do it at all. It’s self-defeating, and leads you to inaction.

Number ten was a special one for me. I labeled it “Stop Trying/Ignorance.” Simply put, that means I am going to stop trying to educate idiots that wish to remain ignorant. I could drone on for days on this, but I won’t. Again, it’s not worth it.

Number eleven was laziness. I’ve shirked long term goals in my life because I was lazy. The medium doesn’t matter… it’s the sheer waste of precious time. I want to accomplish a few more things while I am still in this body, and nowadays time seems to go by faster than we can grasp it.

Finally, number twelve was “ghosts.” For many years ago to now, I have lived with the ghosts of people that slipped away, and I never got to tell them how much they meant to me. So, in very small print, I filled the last piece of paper with the names of those people. I have to let them go.

I went out the next day, and dug a hole. I placed the sack with its invaluable contents in the hole, and burned it. When it was nothing but ashes, I replaced the soil, and walked back home. Sheer relief filled my soul, and I was truly better than I’d been in years. I emailed my counselor, and told her about it, and thanked her.

This path we call life is a long highway, my friends…don’t waste your time driving past all the scenery and places that would give you joy. Stop and smell the roses.

-Jim

 

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“2020”

By Jim Culp

Here we are again. The end of the year is coming very soon. It’s been a long one, and one that most of us would probably like to forget. We’ve seen riots, brutal police practices, and a global pandemic that still isn’t over.

Our country stands upon the brink of utter ruin, and people who cannot see that are as blind as an old man that left his readers in the bedroom, and the Sunday paper is a big blur.  It is an election year, and once again, we’re stuck with two candidates that as preferable as our country’s leaders as I am to be the next candidate for Miss America.

I watched my Steelers play yesterday, and even though they are on a winning streak this year, they still suffer from poor management and a lack of trying new things. After that game was over, I watched 20/20, and the first set was Leslie Stahl interviewing President Trump. He danced his way out of every question, lied five times, and finally got mad and walked out. Very presidential indeed. Anyone that is not convinced that Trump is a pathological liar is a very confused individual indeed. Trump lies twice as much as he ever tells the truth, and people still follow him.

Next was Leslie interviewing Vice President Mike Pence. Pence praised Trump for his victories (great and small) and supported him at every turn. He’s a true puppet. I’ve never had much use for Pence, but I am far from finished on the subject of Vice Presidential candidates.

After some commercials, we turned to the lovely Norah O’Donnell interviewing Joe Biden. Norah stuck to business, and asked Joe some tough questions, and reminded him of his age. He will be the oldest person to ever serve as POTUS if he is elected. Joe touted the normal statistics, and had a tough stance on Trump. He made a big mistake by claiming a tuition cost for so many students would be x-dollars, and fact checks immediately stated that they would be double that.

Joe, you’re getting old dude. Slow down and think before you speak. Stop trying to talk as fast as a twenty year old girl at a pageant.

The last interview was Norah with Vice Presidential candidate Kamala Harris. Kamala is a good looking Indian/British/Jamaican woman, and a very smart person. She has a massive amount of experience in running large agencies, and served as the Attorney General of California. I would have thought Joe would have picked her to be his AG, but whatever.

Kamala started the interview like she had just smoked a joint, and was going to laugh everything away. Norah set her straight in two minutes. They had a good interview, but one thing that stuck in my craw was that Kamala said she would “Do whatever Joe tells me to do.” There are a thousand tingles in my bullshit meter that tell me she won’t. I think she will follow that recipe for a short while, but then she will challenge him when it comes to extremely liberal agendas.

Once again, we are faced with two candidates, and neither one is preferable to me. One is a narcissistic douche-bag, and the other might wake up tomorrow and forget who he is. That’s how we roll in ‘Merca these days folks.

-Jim

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Columbus Day

 

Columbus Day

October 12, 2020

By Jim Culp

 

When I was in grade school in 2^nd or 3^rd grade, we “studied” Columbus Day for a few days out of the school year. We learned about the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. We also learned how the visiting Spaniards had meals with the indigenous peoples, and traded gifts with them.

It wasn’t until 5^th grade that my mother sent me to a Christian School, and we studied the “early settlement of the Americas.” This was a “Baptist” school, so naturally anything that happened in the name of God was the Catholic’s doing. We were taught (in our little learning books, called PACES) that Christopher Columbus was a slaver, but that he worked for the Pope.

When I went to college many years later, I studied all of this again. My professor was an agnostic, and taught us the truth. Here are some excerpts from good ole Chris’ journals:

“They ought to make good and skilled servants, for they repeat very quickly whatever we say to them. I think they can very easily be made Christians, for they seem to have no religion. If it pleases our Lord, I will take six of them to Your Highnesses when I depart, in order that they may learn our language.^”

 "These people are very simple in war-like matters ... I could conquer the whole of them with 50 men, and govern them as I pleased.”

“While I was in the boat, I captured a very beautiful Carib woman, whom the said Lord Admiral gave to me. When I had taken her to my cabin she was naked—as was their custom. I was filled with a desire to take my pleasure with her and attempted to satisfy my desire. She was unwilling, and so treated me with her nails that I wished I had never begun. But—to cut a long story short—I then took a piece of rope and whipped her soundly, and she let forth such incredible screams that you would not have believed your ears. Eventually we came to such terms, I assure you, that you would have thought that she had been brought up in a school for whores.^”

An entry in his journal from September 1498 reads: "From here one might send, in the name of the Holy Trinity, as many slaves as could be sold.

Historical Facts:

Columbus sent over 5,000 south and North American natives back to Spain for use as slaves.

Modern estimates for the pre-Columbian population of Hispaniola vary from several hundred thousand to more than a million. Some estimate that a third or more of the 250,000–300,000 natives in Haiti were dead within the first two years of Columbus's governorship, many from lethal forced labor in the mines, in which a third of workers died every six months.

Please teach your children the truth. They see enough fairy tales on TV.

-Jim 

 

 

“The Herald of Woe”

August 22, 2020

 

It’s been awhile since I wrote in my blog. I apologize to all of my readers. I’ve just been busy with life.

It is exceedingly insane to me how leaders in our country are thinking right now. The masks that we are wearing in public are a pain in the ass…I get it. But they can literally mean the difference between life and death. People who are fighting this are ignorant and need to be educated; forcefully if needed. So why are so many morons opposing this? You only have to look at the decisions that local “leaders” are making.

So what is the first thing you do in a pandemic?

You eliminate ALL unnecessary outings. That means ANYWHERE people are in close contact with one another. So what things are unnecessary? Here’s my list:

Baseball Games

Football Games

Soccer Games

Wrestling Matches

Karate Tournaments

Orgies

Bars

Concerts

Church

Funerals

 

I am relatively sure you get my meaning. These things are not necessary. The next list is things that I believe can be argued, but distancing (at least 15 feet) MUST be followed:

Gyms (we all need cardio, especially me)

School (if common sense, not money; is the rule of law)

Critical Health Care appointments

Emergency Operations (this does NOT include changing the name of street signs or tearing down statues or monuments)

Executions (which, in my opinion, need to start happening if ANYONE has been in prison more than five years on a second conviction)

List too long? OK, but it’s mine; and fat old men’s opinions matter. Wake up USA.

Our time to shine is now. STOP letting money be our guiding force. START listening to science. STOP following religions that are based on MONEY. START making the USA a better place for everyone. How do you do that? Stop blindly following “leaders” that couldn’t lead a fox to a hen house.

-Jim

 

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Color

July 11, 2020

“Color”

By Jim Culp

This year, things have occurred on our planet that is unprecedented in modern times. The world has become a different place, and millions of youngsters will remember it as a time that is probably best forgotten. But I want to talk about a trend that has become so monotonous that I am growing immune to it day by day. This issue of “color” is an old thing, and it’s time it goes away. Let me define that. I don’t mean to ignore it… that is what we have been doing for three hundred years. When the “pale faces” came to the Americas in 1492, they first encountered the Taino. These ingenious peoples inhabited Hispaniola, an area in the Caribbean Sea that is known today as the Greater Antilles. In his journal, Christopher Columbus wrote "They were very well built, with very handsome bodies and very good faces....They do not carry arms or know them....They should be good servants." Color did not persuade his writings, but belief that his race was superior to theirs did.

Black Hawk, a leader of the Sauk, wrote “If the Great and Good Spirit wished us to believe and do as the whites, he could easily change our opinions, so that we would see, and think, and act as they do.”

This opinion of forcing someone’s ideals onto another person, tribe, or community, was and still is the chief cause of wars on our planet, right after acquisition of wealth. The Native Americans did not want to be Christianized. They did not want to be assimilated into European culture. They had lived on this continent for 14,000 years, and developed thriving societies. They had their issues, but who doesn’t?

I’ve made these examples for one reason. History is full of revolting occurrences, disturbances, and just about any atrocity you could imagine if you exercised your darkest demons. But I ask one thing…when should we say “enough is enough?” Do we keep making one tribe, race, or belief the “bosses,” and keep making the others their slaves? When will we stop using color as a measurement of a human being? Why does ANYTHING have a color as the first world of its title? I am asking that question to every single human being on this planet.

I understand that people have had woes in their lives. I understand that some people have had problems with the government and the police, but when you try to say that we should exemplify one color of people for that, you’re smoking some good shit.

Nationwide, police shot and killed about 1,000 people in 2017.

In 2018, that number was less, reported at 999.

In 2019, that number was 1,008.

So far in 2020, we’re at 506.

If you’ll look at the statistics, the numbers are not all one color; they are all over the place. Why do cops shoot people? You can study that all day, and when you’re done, you might as well get some credits and finish your PhD in psychology.

I have quoted these statistics to show you some facts, but I’ll close with an opinion. We are never going to be free from conflict and pain until we all work together for a better society. My next blog is going to tell you how we can do that.

I believe that conflict starts with labels. If my t-shirt says “Soundgarden is the best band of all time,” and you are a Pearl Jam fan, there will be minor conflict. If you wear a t-shirt that says “Black Lives Matter,” there will be conflict just about anywhere you go. All lives matter. Black, brown, red, yellow, white, and chocolate sundaes. Stop putting color in front of a name. Just because something terrible happened does not give you the right to destroy property and put your race in front of other races. Equality is about EVERYBODY. Like Mama used to sing to me, “red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight.”

There ya go.

-Jim  

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June 21, 2020

“Father’s Day”

By Jim Culp

Father’s Day is a fairly modern celebration honoring paternal bonds and the act of fatherhood. Today, here in the United States, we celebrate Father’s Day for the 110^th time. Father’s Day, in some form or another, was celebrated in Catholic Christian countries as Saint Joseph’s Day dating way back into the Middle Ages. We, as citizens of the United States of America, did not start this tradition until 1910. For the past 110 years, Father’s Day has evolved into many household customs, and like many holidays here in the USA, they may be religion based or not. Some respect the old traditions; like “Sunday of the Forefathers,” where God told Abraham "In thy seed shall all of the nations of the earth be blessed" (Genesis 12:3, 22:18). Many others just like to honor their Dad, Step Dad, or someone who raised them. I fall into the latter category.

My Father (who I still call “Daddy) was a man raised in South-West Texas. He was the son of a cowboy, a mason, and a rancher. When he was 22 years old, he married a beautiful girl, Mary Ann Bristow, who was 17 years old by 5 days (see Photo #1). The lovely couple would enjoy a marriage of just 20 years, but would have seven children. Oldest to youngest they were: Deborah, John, Cynthia, Thomas, Mart, David, and James. My Dad wanted to be a soldier in his younger years. He attended a military academy, but was refused service in the active military because he suffered from a birth defect known as “ventricular septal defect,” or to put it plainly, a hole in your heart. He turned to civilian aspirations, and worked many types of jobs. Later, he started driving tractor trailer rigs (see Photo #2) in various modes, but finally settled on long hauls from El Paso to the West Coast.

In 1969, my Dad died of a massive heart attack, and the Culp kids were left with one parent for a long period. I was just two years old when Daddy passed, and can scarcely remember anything about it. The hole in my life of not having a real Dad would affect me for the rest of my life.

In June of 1972, my Mom remarried. William George Lesperance was a man 9 years older than my Mom, and about as different from my Dad as you could imagine (see Photo #3). “Bill,” as he was known to most, was a big man. He had a thundering bass voice, and talked to people like he wanted to. If he felt it, he spoke it. Bill was from Stockton, Kansas, and grew up in the midst of the Great Depression. He was raised on meals that included meat only once or twice a week. He was also raised by a father that had hard and fast rules about women and children. This would transfer to the Culp house when he became our paternal figure, but that is another story for another time.

During my childhood and teenage years, my relationship with this man evolved into friendship and mutual respect. My unofficial step-father (not my law) would be just that…a father. He paid the bills, and gave us a life. He was never a “Daddy” to me. His official title was “Pop.” I loved him for what he was, and he and I were “straight-shooters” when I (and my siblings) was with him when he passed in 1997. Pop loved his grandchildren, and always enjoyed being with them (see Photo #4).

In 1989, I became a Dad. My precious little girl, Jessica Marie Culp, was born on December 16, 1989. My life would change forever, as I was just 23, close to how my Dad had been when his first child was born. I was clueless, but I did have a large encyclopedia of lessons from watching my siblings with their kids for many years. A Sergeant in the Army once told me “Culp, congrats on the kid. But let me warn ya…when you have a boy, you only gotta worry about one pecker. But now that you got yourself a girl, you gotta worry about a hundred million of ‘em.”

“Thanks Sarge,” I said. “I’m glad you made me aware of that.”

If you are a father (by blood or law) you are part of a large fraternity of men that know the joy, worry, heartache, and sheer gratitude of raising children. The key (I’ve learned) is to love your children unconditionally. They are part of you, and you are their guide in life. Happy Father’s Day.

-Jim 

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June 20, 2020

“Summer”

By Jim Culp

It is that time of year again. The weather becomes very warm, and in many areas of the Earth, quite humid. It is a time when life is at its peak, and every creature under the Sun is moving about. Even in the big city (where I currently live) it will be nothing for you to see hundreds of species of animals and plants in just one day. You’ll see the tiny insects that buzz about, crawl on the ground, and bug the living hell out of you when you are out and about. If you are fortunate enough to love in the countryside, you will likely see an even larger abundance of life, because there is less human interference. We enter into that phenomenon known as the Summer Solstice. It will begin tonight at 9:43 pm, and continue for 48 hours.

For all of us humans living in the Northern Hemisphere, our days will longer than usual. That is because the Sun is illuminating a whopping 50% of the Earth’s surface due to our position in the orbit of the big fiery ball that keeps us alive.

For us modern pagans, the solstice is the peak of life; and the celebration of Litha, or in the modern tongue, “first fruits.” It is a time when we honor the Mother Earth for her gifts to us, the fruits and vegetables that nourish our bodies and give us strength. It is also time to grow beautiful plants, gardens, and flowers with brilliant colors.

In these troubled times, it is important that we stand by our values, and help one another in keeping our health and sanity intact. If you are a first time reader, or a dedicated follower of my work; I thank you and wish you a wonderful summer, and health and prosperity to you and your families.

-Jim 

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