"Entitled"

 

“Entitled”

By Jim Culp

November 4, 2021

 

We’re coming to the end of another year. Soon there will be snow, impassable streets, and hundreds of accidents. In Nature, the trees are changing colors; the sky is frequently gray, and all the animals that don’t have fur are disappearing for the rest of the year, and well into the next. The holidays will soon be upon us, and once again thousands of people will spend billions of dollars on gifts for their spouses, their children, and those that are fortunate enough…their grandchildren.

The stores will be crowded with hundreds of people combing the shelves for this and that, and breaking out the iPad to buy online.

Yesterday, I was in the Walmart here in Lee’s Summit. It’s a place that is always crowded to the gills, because everything around it has outrageous prices. I was in the frozen section, and this kid wanted some blueberry toaster waffles. Innocent enough... Then his mother told him it wasn’t happening because the last time she bought them for him, he didn’t eat them. He started screaming “child abuse” and “this is so unfair.” Well, about a minute later Mom tossed them back in the basket, and little anti-christ declared “see, I won!”

Mom turned around and took the box out of the cart, and placed the waffles back in the freezer.

That was the tie that broke little Satan’s defenses. He jumped out of the cart, and started things off the shelves, and yelling “I’ll show this bitch what a bad kid is!”

Mom quickly ran and grabbed the young lucifarian and wrapped him up like a burrito in her arms. He proceeded to head-butt her in the chin twice, and she maintained her bearing; and kept telling him to calm down. Two Walmart employees showed up, and were clueless what to do. One of them asked Mom if she wanted the police to come intervene. She shook her head “yes.” 20 minutes later, the prince of darkness junior was in a police car being schooled by the young officer.

I left there thinking about my family, my siblings’ children, and all the times we swapped stories of stuff our kids had done in yesteryear. When I told this story to my therapist, he was taken aback, and stated that he’d never let his kid pull that kind of stuff. He asked me what I thought.

“I don’t know Doc, when you have been the places I have been, and see little girls with no shirt or shoes when it was 36 degrees, it kinda hard for me to have any sympathy for kids in North America. They get smart phones for Christmas when they aren’t old enough to know a dollar from a donut, and have everything under the sun. They get cars for their 16^th birthday, and don’t work for anything. I think it is a disease that is going to make our country go down the toilet.”

“Entitlement,” he said.

“Yes Sir, I believe so.”

 

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The Times they are a Changin'

 

October 11, 2021

“The Times they are a Changin’”

By Jim Culp

 

A grammatically correct sentence? A warning? Neither…it was a song written, played, and sung by my favorite poet, Bob Dylan. When Mr. Zimmerman wrote these lyrics in 1965, the USA was a very different place than it is today. JFK was gone, and LBJ took his place as POTUS. Malcom X was murdered, and the funeral of Winston Churchill drew a crowd of over 300,000 people. Vietnam was in its latter stages, but still cranking out dead US servicemen by the minute.  Bob Dylan wrote songs that came from his heart, and songs that many parents (including mine) would just as soon never let their children hear. That were songs that questioned the establishment, pissed off the preachers, and talked about poverty and homelessness. Other songs a sang a different tune, and that tune was about having someone to talk to. You know, someone who not only cares, but has at least some mileage on the track of life that you were on at some point. A friend like that is a rare gift indeed, and life only deals you so many of them, like aces in poker.

In these troubled times, we face so many obstacles. COVID, a government with cranial rectitis; half a billion people that could care less about their fellow human beings, the planet that they live on, or the air that we breathe. On my fifth day of COVID, there was a phone call from one of my oldest brothers. It was a welcome ring. The brother I speak about goes back with me all the way to my early days in the Republic of Korea (May of 1985). We talked the better part of two hours. This is a precious commodity that some people know nothing about, and some that probably never will. Someone that has experiences with you (or similar to you) for 36 years is something that can never be replaced. When they tell you that their knees hurt, or their fingers aren’t working, you know right away want they mean, because you pulled the same pin, lifted the same bridge, or fired the same gun. My day went so much better after that. Life goes on.

Bob was so right. The Times they are a changing’, and I ain’t so sure for the better. Hold on to the things that are precious to you. You know, like Smeagol and the Ring... just kidding. Friends, brothers, and family are eternal. Don’t pass up a day to let them know you care. Tomorrow is never promised.

Cheers-

-Jim

 

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"Come on In"

 

August 26, 2021

“Come on In!”

By Jim Culp

 

So yesterday I watched a portion of a documentary that is being recorded and documented in McAllen, Texas. Texas is my home state, but I was born in El Paso, which is 785 miles from McAllen. That should give you the sheer size of that state; it’s the second largest state in the USA right after Alaska. This guy (un-named for his protection) is filming the processing of persons coming from Mexico to the USA. When they started filming it, the film crew stated that they were under the massive bridge that crosses the Rio Grande River. He witnesses groups of Mexican personnel being processed for entry into the USA. The problem though…is two things (in my opinion). If a group has ONE child in it, they all go through, and are given a paper ticket that says “appear in court this day, this city…etc.”

The guy noted something really crazy though…he said he looked at some of the papers, and most of them cite a date that is THREE YEARS in the future. “Are you shitting me?” I said as I heard it. Do you really think that people are going to do that? Let me digress a bit.

I have no problem with people trying to improve their lives, especially people that are impoverished. A human being has every right to try and make things better for himself and his family. Women damn sure have the right to improve themselves even when they are not being used for concubines, being raped, or being outright slaves. Children have the right to happiness, education, and care. I don’t blame a single Mexican from trying to get into the USA, but our government needs to shit or get off the pot. If you’re going to let them in, you better get a plan in place for processing them. It will be the same when United States cities start receiving all the Afghanis. The trouble is... they aren’t even taking care of OUR citizens, much less anyone else.

Call your Congressman or Senator…tell them what you think. If they don’t respond, call them out.

-Jim

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"A Bad Deal...All Around"

 

August 19, 2021

“A Bad Deal…All Around”

By Jim Culp

 

Let me tell you how far you can get in a combat zone like areas in Afghanistan or Iraq without an interpreter. Sure, you can go all Stormtrooper and just kill everybody, but then you’re gonna play hell making it out. Interpreters act in many roles, but I can tell you…my interpreter in Iraq was invaluable to me. In fact, I had two. The one had at the meeting hall was a very young guy called Buddy (because no one could pronounce his proper name) that spoke nearly fluent English, he was fluent in Modern Arabic and Kurdish. He did interpretations for me daily and only asked for a can of Pringles in payment.

My other guy was a commercial contractor. Mr. Nohman was from a northern province of Baghdad, and had a lovely wife and three children. He wasn’t a terrorist or a thug; he was a good man trying to make money for his family. Nohman would get me everything from blankets to plywood, flash drives, and tools, nails… whatever.

When I watch the current crap going on in Afghanistan, I think about Nohman and how I would feel if he were to be left there after being such an asset to me for seven months. I would feel like a thug myself thinking of his children being rounded up to be slaves, or his inability to feed his family because the supermarkets had been closed to the public unless they complied with the thug’s wishes.

Every time I hear some stupid redneck says things like “screw them towel-heads, they started it!” or some other asinine bullshit. It makes my skin crawl. Educate yourself. Talk to veterans that have been through this kind of crap. It’s the same thing that happened in Saigon in 1975. A country collapses because the invading force had poor leadership and made really bad calls in the latter years. And no, it’s not just Biden.

 

Jim Culp

Veteran of OIF 1

February 2003 to May 2004

Tigris River Valley, Iraq

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Solve the Problems: Part 1

 

8/8/2021

Solve the Problems- Part I

By Jim Culp

 

So, we are now looking for new Olympic sports. I’ve had had an idea for one for 30 years, but had little response. Here ye go. State by state, you grab up every person in prison that has been there for 10 years or more. Take them far out in the desert, and set up full cameras, video, and whatever else you want.

10 prisoners against 10 prisoners at a time, 1 hour limit.

They may choose a weapon* and a shield, or two weapons. The last man with a workable appendage is set free. Now, depending on your amount of inmates, this can take months or years. So be it. We’d get rid of millions of rat fuck dogshit criminals mos tickety tick. The events would employ thousands of security guards, mobile kitchens, and low skill nurses to give the survivors band aids and a canteen of water for their journey.

*: Any hand held weapon that does not issue a projectile except spears.

I will now take Questions from the Public:

Q: How will you make sure that these people don’t escape during the process? 

Easy, they are not only completely chained, they are drugged and go nighty-night for the trip.

Q: This is inhumane! They deserve better than this.

A: Well shit, I guess you’re going to have to pull up your panties and live with it. Also, if the prisoner elects, they can opt out, and be used for live bayonet training at any military base.

Q: How much will this cost?

A: Depends on the State, but probably about a hundred grand per day. But after you deduct the money that is being used on prisoner Jack the Rapist ($81,000 per year) that these events will have as a budget, it’ll work itself out.

Q: This is barbaric! Jesus would not approve of such idiocy!

A: Maybe not, but Jesus ain’t running the country. Our country is a Republic, not a religious theocracy.

 Q: These people will die horrible deaths and their families will sue!

A: One bit of the banana at a time, sister. One, horrible deaths? You mean like the Manson murders? The Hillside Strangler? Dahmer? Give me a goddamn break. So families will sue. We’ll handle that in due time.

Q: Ok, Jim…down and dirty. How much will this cost?

A: Well, let’s look at a few states. How about New Mexico where I grew   up? In that state (as of 2015) one prisoner costs the people $7,167 a year. Mind you, that doesn’t account for a prisoner that needs a special cell, or is in lockdown, or needs daily medical care. But even in that state, it costed $263,935,441 a year. But that’s nothing compared to New York, where the average expenditure of an inmate per year was $53,181. Ready for the big tamale? That year, New York (all by itself) spent $3,688,976,999 on housing inmates. Just for comparison’s sake, let’s see how many F150 Ford Pickups (brand new) with that money. After employing my unbeatable 3^rd grade math, you could purchase $125,946 of them.  

Q: I can’t believe a person would even think about such barbarism.

A: Well, shit fire. To quote my hero Clint Eastwood…”Well, they can all come stay at your place then… can’t they?”

          -Jim

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June 14, 2021

“Grief Begets Ignorance”

By Jim Culp

 

To the lady that lost your child in the Sandy Hook shooting; I am very sorry for your loss. I can’t say that I know how you feel, or “yeah, I’ve been there,” or any other reply that would ease your pain. A bunch of folks died that day, including other children that were ages like 6 and 7. What a tragedy. It was nine years ago, but I am sure that doesn’t matter when it comes to your grief. But the area that I am deeply concerned about is this; you want the U.S. Government to pass a law that prohibits any citizen of the United States from owning a semi-automatic firearm. You want most to prohibit us from owning a semi-automatic series of rifles like the kid at Sandy Hook employed. These are semi-autos like the XM-15 Bushmaster carbines that look like military M-16’s. Yes Ma’am; I know them well. I’ve owned four of them over the last 30 years, and used them recreationally many times over. I taught my daughter how to load, shoot, and perform basic actions to clean, disassemble, perform function and malfunction actions, and what direction not to point the muzzle. I carried a government version of one of these in two wars, and employed them for my survival three times in the second one.

I said all of that to say this. I’ve never shot anyone that didn’t need some killin’, and I never wanted to ban weapon ownership from anyone that was sane, trained, and old enough to distinguish a fart from a chainsaw. The kid that shot your child (and many others) came from a broken home, and the events that led to the shooting were all in plain sight for plenty of people to see; they just didn’t do anything. Taking away law abiding citizen’s weapons (anything from steak knives to Bushmasters) does absolutely nothing to keep the public safe. Do you really think the cops could handle armies of thugs that would rule the streets if the public did not own firearms? If so, visit places where handguns are illegal. Let me know what you find. Again, sorry about the kid; it sucks. But try to take my guns? Ain’t going to work sugar.

-Jim

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June 5, 2021

“Literally”

By Jim Culp

I was fishing this morning, and a man in his sixties came down to the water, and sat down. He didn’t have any gear, so I wondered if he was a bird watcher or something. Pretty soon we were commenting on the crazy weather we have had, and I kept comparing it to what the weather today and yesterday were like {PERFECT}.

After a while, he confided in me that he was a non-denominational minister, and liked to go out and speak with people about his faith, and ask about theirs.

After a while, I told him that I was from a religious family, and that for all of my childhood (and up to age 37) I was a Baptist. In those days, we were called “Fundamental Baptists” so that we were recognized separate from other Baptists. I told him of the problems that I had with religion in my childhood, and how I struggled with it as an adult. He then asked me what religion I observed now.

I replied that I don’t practice one at all. I consider myself Pagan, but I barely practice that. He said he was sorry, and that he sometimes struggled with religion as well. We talk on and on, and finally I asked him if he would take my genealogy exam. He said “Sure…what not?”

I carry around three or four index cards with me everywhere I go, because I could debate religion with the Pope. So I showed him my card (please see photo). He said “Ohhhh, the old Genesis debate!”

I said “yeah. What happened after that? Before you answer, I know the bible. I know that it says there were men and women after that, but who did who to make more people?”

He said emphatically that he did not know the answer. I told him about one Baptist preachers who told me that “incest wasn’t wrong in those days.”

“Really?” the guy asked.

“Yeah, really.”

Then he said what all the others said for all of my life. “Well, you just can’t take the Bible literally all the time.”

-Jim  

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