Sorry? Yes and No

 

By Jim Culp

 

Yesterday I met Corlea at Walmart. She was a Pentecostal evangelist’s aide that was handing out tracts that stated “You never say you’re sorry.”

Maybe so, Corlea, so here I go.

 

I’m sorry for or that:

 

Kim Kardashian didn’t go into porn

Anyone ever voted for a Bush

Anyone ever voted for a Clinton

Anyone is stupid enough to donate money to scams

You’ve been led to believe that modern religions are about “God”

You think that education should be free to you

You think that other people should work and you should not

You think Luke Bryan and Jason Aldean are Country and Western singers

You are 19 and think you should have everything your parents have

You have a Master’s degree and have the same job I do

People still think fossil fuels are the best way to produce energy

People think we owe Israel and Egypt a fucking penny

People think open borders will make us a stronger nation

People still think Kanye West is a man

People think Justin Bieber is an artist, a singer, or anything but a douche-bag

People think that our government is looking out for the working American

 

HOWEVER:

 

I am NOT sorry for or that:

 

Bethe Correia talked too much shit to Ronda Rousey

I do and say as I please

I say or do things that offend you

I don’t have gods

I don’t have a religion

I don’t send Valentine cards to relatives

I believe green chile should be the national fruit

I believe open carry of firearms should be legal throughout the USA anywhere/anytime

I believe people who abuse children should be crucified in public squares

I believe people who abuse animals should be shot on sight

I know things through years of research that will turn the world you know inside-out

I think Bruce Jenner could have used his money for better purposes

I taught my daughter to do and believe as she feels is right

I am in the middle of my third divorce and will never invite the state into my life again

 

There, Corlea. Hope this works for you.