May 7, 2021

“Safe Conduct”

By Jim Culp

 

What a nice day. It’s about 70 degrees, but a little windy for me. No problem; did some writing this morning, then headed out to look at more fishing places. On the way, I stopped at Sonic, and got some grub. Then my daughter and I had a long text talk, and I was back on track to the areas I wanted to RECON today.

I parked my car, and started to get out. Just then, a rock hit my passenger door. It scared the shit out of me, because there were no other cars there. I looked around, didn’t see anyone; and got out to see whether USAA insurance would be getting a call or not.

I got out, and had my camera in hand. I started looking at the marks on the car, and then I heard steps in gravel from the lakeside. I turned around, and about 10 feet  away was Barry Von Tweaker; getting closer. Camera stayed in left hand; right hand drew pistol. Pistol levels at tweakie’s solid brown teeth. He stops.

Me: “did you do this?”

Tweak: “Nah dude; I just need some food money.”

Me: “How about a bullet instead?”

It was then, and only then; that this idiot realized I was holding a gun.

Me: “Get lost, tweakee.”

Tweak: “I’m on it man.”

He walks to the brush, and disappeared.

Luckily, the “rock” was more mud than rock. No significant damage.

I was relieved. I haven’t killed anyone in 18 years, and I don’t ever want to have to do it again. Live goes on in Missura!

Have a nice day.

-Jim

 

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April 28^th, 2021

“Snow”

By Jim Culp

 

This morning I was watching some news, and the weather guy said that we can rest assure that the Midwest is pretty well out of range for any more snow-storms.

I started thinking (don’t know why) about my Mom and how she loved the snow we would get in Silver City. Then I started thinking about Uncle Albert, who lived in Coeur D Alene for a major part of his life. In the last ten of them, he never owned an automobile. He had a snow-mobile for winter; and a horse for summer.

He visited us in Silver City one year, and told us many stories about the brutal winters in his area of Northern Idaho. He lived semi-remote, because that was how he liked it.

Coeur D Alene, Idaho receives an average snowfall of 69.8 inches of snow each year. That’s an incredible amount of snow. When I worked Kansas DOT in the nineties, our area received 17.2 inches per year. There were times when we plowed 12 on / 12 off for 4-5 days. I can’t imagine receiving almost seventy inches of snow in a winter… hell; you may as well sleep at the shop.  

Memories of the winters I have been through are plenty cold and wet, but I only had a few here and there where it was really bad, especially at Fort Riley.

Just my thoughts on paper today…

Thanks for reading!

-Jim

 

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"Fear"

 

April 24, 2021

“Fear”

By Jim Culp

In the summer of 1990, I attended a school at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. It was hotter than the lower planes of hell, and we arrived to find that not only were the barracks not air conditioned; neither were the classrooms and mess-hall. Most days were over 100˚F, and the humidity was around 70%. We were there for six weeks, and attended classes every day and various outdoor activities like the physical fitness test, land navigation, and trying not to die.

This school (in my day) was called BNCOC (Basic Non-Commissioned Officer’s Course), and you typically attend it at Grade E-5, which is Sergeant. There were guys there from my unit, and also some guys that I had been stationed with at other Army units previously. We were allowed to do as we pleased at night, and that usually included drinking and watching strippers dance.

At some point in the class, we wrote papers on any subject that we chose. They were graded by a professor instructor from Central Texas College. I wrote mine on Darth Vader. I wrote about how the Darth would handle any issue that came his way, and 98% of the time; his leaders and soldiers did what he said to do in great haste. If a leader or soldier was in that 2 percentile, woe was his fate.

"Darth" (means “Lord” or “Leader”) was feared and respected, but mostly feared…hence his 98% efficiency rate. He always dressed well, and made sure one of his imbeciles shined his boots and helmet to a mirror image. He rarely yelled, because he didn’t need to.

Once, at a leader’s conference, his boss was there. The boss said that “fear would keep the local systems in line, fear of this battle station.” The boss spoke of the Death Star, a massive rig that moved about space blowing up planets that had not behaved like the Emperor (the BIG BOSS) wanted. When one of the leaders scoffed at this, the Darth walked over to him, and summoned the force. This made the leader choke, and gain some fucking respect. See how that works?

I received a 97 on my paper. At the bottom, there was this note.

“Dear Sergeant Culp: I loved your paper, and really enjoyed reading it. I gave you a 98% because your indention on line 54 was not needed. Lastly; about your topic; bravo! I grade hundreds of these papers every week, and get sick of Army slogans and tedious military jargon. Thanks for the break.”

I headed home that summer feeling like a million bucks. Now that I look back, I think about that paper, and all the guys I went to that course with. I think about the heat and humidity, and the way it would prepare me for the coming war, which was just six months later. I would know fear all too well then.

-Jim

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April 23, 2021

“Education and Solution”

By Jim Culp

 

Let me try this one more time.

EDUCATION

The definition of an assault rifle is thus:

“A military rifle capable of both automatic and semi-automatic fire, utilizing an intermediate-power cartridge.”

Point A: “Military,” you read that part, right?

Point B: “Automatic fire,” you read that part, right?

It’s illegal to own an automatic firearm in the United States of America. It has been since the Gun Control Act of 1968.

You can obtain a license (a type 07 Federal Firearms License) and build any firearm you want, even a machine gun. But you can’t sell it to anyone, except a FFL holder of a higher license.

Owning an assault rifle is illegal in the entire United States of America. An AR-15 is not an assault rifle, and neither is an SKS, a semiautomatic shotgun, or a MAC 10 replica. None can fire in fully automatic mode unless modified, at which point you are a felon.

So…who owns automatic rifles? A. People with expensive and highly scrutinized licenses. (I know, I had one for six years) B. CRIMINALS. One more time…CRIMINALS.

But the problem here in the good old USA is that we aren’t tough enough on criminals, and going to prison is a habit for them.

SOLUTION:

One offense (non-lethal)? Prison, working prison. Act up while you’re there? Execution by hanging, in public.

Second Offense (non-lethal)? You pick up trash and live in a tent for the rest of your life.

Act up while you’re there? You are executed by hanging, in public.

Lethal offense (whether you pulled the trigger or not) you are executed by hanging, in public.

Your rights? You lost them when you were found guilty of the crime, and you are executed within 10 days of being sentenced.

Is this barbaric? Yep; sure is. And that’s right where we need to get back to with criminals.

-Jim

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February 8, 2021

Sunday Game Review

By Jim Culp

 

I am not a Chiefs fan. In fact, I don’t even watch more than about ten NFL games a year. The whole thing is just cliché to me most of the time. It can also get monotonous when teams just seem to do that same old shit every year. Then they cry and moan because they don’t get into the playoffs.

I am a lifelong Steelers fan, and have been since about 1973. Back in those days (I know, ancient history) the game of professional football was rougher, less refereed, and there was way less technology. We watched games on black and white TV; and it wasn’t on 2, 4, 9, or 13, you weren’t gonna watch it unless you went to a rich kid’s house. Up to now, the Steelers are one of the few that have six Super-bowl wins, and I still like to watch them. However, they are a shadow of what they were twenty years ago.

Fast forward to now; the Chiefs have had a big re-start with new people. A kid like Patrick Mahomes (25 years old) taking a team to a Super-bowl his first year was unheard of, but he and the Chiefs did it in 2020. 

When last night’s game started, we watched for about half a quarter, and I said “they are going to have to play better than this, or they are gonna lose big time.”

Well, I am no Nostradamus, but here we are. The Chiefs lost big (36 – 9), and NFL “experts” had predicted that they would win 25 – 9. It was a crushing defeat, and here’s why according to me.

The Chiefs went into this with big heads. They didn’t have a strategy to contain Brady, and they sure as hell didn’t have the means to control Gronkowski. When the Buccaneers started scoring (as Tom Brady always does) the Chiefs’ defenders started playing “grab the hands” and “trip him up.”

This led to the Chiefs receiving 11 penalties that costed them 120 yards of the game. Some of those were at very critical times. Why am I so adamant about this? Because it’s the same thing the Steelers did when they had a big head and started losing. History doth repeat itself…not every time…but often.

Brady is a veteran football player, and a proven winner. He’s paid $25 million a year because of it. Do you like him? Maybe not…but you damn sure better respect his ability to win games. It’s like being a tanker in the desert and going up against Erwin Rommel. You might hate the bastard, but if you don’t respect his abilities… your tank is going to be a smoking pile of scrap before you can sing Glory Hallelujah.

Till next time,

-Jim

 

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February 5, 2021

“Crazy”

By Jim Culp

 

I listened to the Speaker of House’s speech yesterday; and to the President’s this morning. I fully agree with both that things need to happen quicker than they are. The economy is struggling because of COVID, and people need to get that second check to pay for whatever they need. My problem today was that the President openly admitted that large sums of money (out of the first package) went to people who are in the 10% wealthiest tax bracket. He’s the fourth President of the United States that has openly said this. SO WHY THE FUCK IS IT STILL HAPPENING? Is everyone ok with it? What the actual fuck, over? Check your Six. What are we doing?

Time to reinvent the system!! Bring back the gold and silver standard. Abolish the Federal Reserve System. Fire every politician that has been in public office (of any kind) for EIGHT YEARS. Create a vetting board of 12 or 20 low and middle income that get to question an incoming Senator or Representative before he can take office. 2/3rds of that board have to approve his acceptance.

Do you think this is crazy? Well, they used to call me Crazy Culp for a reason.

But compare it to what is happening today under our very noses?

-Jim

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Decline

 

February 1, 2021

“Society”

By Jim Culp

 

Do you ever wonder what has become of our country? Well, first…we put sports and glamour out in front. You know…ahead of good education, teaching children values, and making sure that elderly are properly cared for, especially in their later years. Religion became a real popular thing, and everyone flocked to join churches. No, not for salvation…for prestige and social standing. Most major cities have hundreds of churches, and they all operate 100% tax free.

I will use Kansas City, Missouri as a model. Kansas City, Missouri has a population of roughly 500,000 people. Do you know how many churches it has? At current count…508. Five Hundred and Eight Churches. That’s just on the Missouri side. Do you know how many of them have elderly care programs? 13 of them. Thirteen out of Five Hundred and Eight.

If you combine the churches in the Kansas City, Missouri and Kansas City, KS, the datum just gets that much closer to the brink of insanity.

There are roughly 205, 500 people living in the Kansas City Metro area, a combination of pieces of both states. Guess how many churches?

Here ye go…744. How many of these have elderly support programs? 23 of them. Twenty-three out of Seven Hundred and Forty-Four.

Sports and shootings in Kansas City take up over 35% of daily evening news programs, and critical problems in Elderly Homes take up about 2% of a week. Homeless issues take up about 4% of weekly TV, and the amount of unemployment takes up way less than that.

Do you every stop and consider that our society is moving in reverse? Do you ever stop and ask yourself “What the fuck are we doing?”

Don’t tell me what Jesus said. When you start acting like Jesus did, and doing what Jesus did; you can start the Jesus diatribe with me.

We, as a society, are in decline. We don’t give a fuck about anyone but ourselves, and it shows every day you go out in public.

-Jim

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