November 15, 2020
“Throw Them Away”
By Jim Culp
So, I went out in the
woods and prayed to my gods. Of course, as with all gods, there was no way to
know if they heard me or not. So I came home…kind of disgruntled and less than
whole.
I called my counselor,
and she said “well, try what I do. Go out wherever you go again, but this time,
take a refuse container along.”
“A what?” I said.
“A refuse container,
you know; a sack or something that will burn.”
“Um, “I stuttered…like
a paper sack from the grocery store?”
“Perfect,” she uttered.
“Then get a couple of pieces of notebook paper or the like, and cut or tear
them into 2” X 2” pieces. Then, take a permanent marker, and write down people
or problems in your life that occupy your brain too much. They can be anything
or anyone, because no one but you will ever know.”
“Got it…and then?” I
asked.
“Place them in the bag,
and throw a few kitchen matches in the bag with them. Then seal it up with a
little tape...” she instructed.
“OK, I’ll call you back
when I get that done,” thanks Mel.
I hung up with her, and
wished I could walk and talk with her, as she had been the best counselor I
ever had, particularly the year my Mom and brother died within months of one
another.
So I took the little
pieces of paper, and a Dollar Tree marker; and started with people. The first
that came to mind were the Kardashians. Now, don’t get me wrong…those girls are
beautiful, and I have nothing against them personally. What I hate to my core
is how they are glorified. Them… and many like them; are worshipped because
they are rich, and can spend seventy hours a week having hair and make-up done.
I think we need better idols.
In the same vein, I
wrote Kanye West on the next piece of paper, but with a forward slash and the
acronym POS in capital letters. I was going to write “No talent ass clown with
a mouth that never closes” but I didn’t care to expend the energy.
The third piece of
paper was easy. I wrote “Mega-churches” and tossed it in. I didn’t write all
the issues I had with them, just the two words. You can read my blogs on the
evil that exists there.
Next was our current
Fuhrer, Mr. Trump. I wrote out his name on the fourth piece, and that was
enough. He gets too much audience in my head, and I need to make room for other
things.
The fact that he has
been voted out of office during a global pandemic (of which he has handled like
a two year old eating a bar of ice cream on a July day) is very awesome indeed.
On the fifth piece were
the names of the soldier that I lost during my time in the Army. There were
three of them, and I’ve allowed them to maintain an area of occupancy in my
head for too many years. I felt responsible for each and every one of them, and
I wasn’t. Each of them was out of my control when they left his planet; but a
true leader doesn’t see it that way sometimes.
The sixth piece was
simply labeled “degree.” I finally made the decision to stop trying to attain
my bachelor’s degree. It was a lifetime goal, and I’ve tried for the last
twenty-five years to fit it into my life. It has never worked, and I’m done trying’.
The seventh and eighth
pieces were labeled “HATE” and “FEAR.” They were going to combine on one, but I
feel that they each needed a spotlight of their own. These two emotions have
filled my brain and my soul for 40 years, and it’s time to let them go. Both will
turn your soul into a cesspool if you don’t purge them out of your life.
Number nine came easy.
It was labeled “stop procrastinating,” and that covers everything in life for
me. Do it, or don’t. I am still not the chief procrastinator (that title
belongs to my second wife), but I don’t want to do it at all. It’s
self-defeating, and leads you to inaction.
Number ten was a
special one for me. I labeled it “Stop Trying/Ignorance.” Simply put, that
means I am going to stop trying to educate idiots that wish to remain ignorant.
I could drone on for days on this, but I won’t. Again, it’s not worth it.
Number eleven was
laziness. I’ve shirked long term goals in my life because I was lazy. The
medium doesn’t matter… it’s the sheer waste of precious time. I want to
accomplish a few more things while I am still in this body, and nowadays time
seems to go by faster than we can grasp it.
Finally, number twelve
was “ghosts.” For many years ago to now, I have lived with the ghosts of people
that slipped away, and I never got to tell them how much they meant to me. So,
in very small print, I filled the last piece of paper with the names of those
people. I have to let them go.
I went out the next
day, and dug a hole. I placed the sack with its invaluable contents in the
hole, and burned it. When it was nothing but ashes, I replaced the soil, and
walked back home. Sheer relief filled my soul, and I was truly better than I’d
been in years. I emailed my counselor, and told her about it, and thanked her.
This path we call life
is a long highway, my friends…don’t waste your time driving past all the
scenery and places that would give you joy. Stop and smell the roses.
-Jim
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On Twitter: Jim Culp
@gmjim13
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